Sunrises, Relationships and Hugs

I slept until 9:10 today, which is very rare for me these days. Normally I get up at 6:30, so sleeping for an extra (almost) 3 hours was amazing. I feel so refreshed and... lazy. I am not a morning person, but I really like getting up early.

I love seeing the world before everything is busy and bustling.
I love watching the sun rise high in the sky.
I love being able to hear the sound of the birds before the sound of the cars.
I love feeling like I have more hours in my day.

It's too bad that I'm normally exhausted when I wake up early. Although, I am getting better at it.

I found this picture (above) by searching "sunrise" on google images. I don't know where that is, but I want to go there. I want to sit on the edge of the lake and watch that gorgeous sunrise. I imagine myself sitting in one of those camping chairs, drinking some hot coffee or maybe even hot chocolate. Despite the buildings that I can see across the lake, it reminds me of somewhere I would go camping. So maybe hot chocolate would be a more realistic thing to be drinking, since you can buy those packets and add hot water. I don't touch instant coffee. That's disgusting.

I'm so glad that Anna is back from Brazil, because this means that I can sit with her and Carolyn and we can talk about relationships again for hours. I just read that sentance again, and it sounds like something from Laguna Beach. I promise, when we talk about relationships, it doesn't go like this:

"So are you with Spencer?"
"Yeah... I dunno though. He's just been acting really weird. I just... I dunno."
"He's so cute though."
"Yeah, he's hot."
"What's up with him and Lauren?"
"They went to that party together."
"Yeah, I dunno."

My brain turned to slush just writing that.

Women seem to talk about relationships a great deal when they are together. Woman are very relational creatures, and companionship seems to be at our core. Which makes a whole lot of sense, because God made us that way. He is relational!

The conversations I tend to have aren't conversations about who likes whom, who is cute, and what my wedding will look like. Gosh, I haven't even thought about that. I don't think its healthy to plan your wedding before you have even met the guy! I knew a girl in high school who had everything planned down to the smallest details. At that time, she was dating someone, but she had planned her wedding before she started dating him. Then she went off to college, they broke up, and she could be dating someone else now. I don't know. It's very sad.

Maybe it's just the people that I talk to, but our conversations go much deeper, and I am so thankful for that. We talk about submission, and what that is supposed to look like in marriage. We talk about being examples to other believers and non-believers in dating relationships. We talk about fears and insecurities we have. We talk about being wise women of the Lord. We talk about patience, and how to deal with these desires for relationships and marriages that are placed deep within us. We talk about guarding our hearts and being prayerful.

God has blessed me with amazing friends to be able to talk about this stuff with. Amazing, wise, wonderful women. :)

I busted out my iRiver last night. That's the mp3 player I had before I got an actual iPod. My iRiver is old, chunky, and makes this high pitched noise when it is turned on. It loses its battery charge like nothing else. But it has a bunch of music on it that is not on my iPod. So I hooked it up to my laptop to see what was on it. The answer: some amazing old music! I listened to a Snow Patrol cover of "Crazy in Love" which they probably shouldn't have made. Most of the music reminds me of summertime in England. Which makes me miss England even more.

I told one of my friends that I was going to go back to England one of these days. I probably shouldn't have said that, because I have no idea what is in store for me. I would love to go back, but who knows. I just looked at my roommate's pictures of Paris that she put on Facebook. I have been to Paris many, many times, but it all seemed so distant, like it happened in another life. It's funny that I am saying that, because while I was living in England, I used to say that living in Texas before I moved to England felt like a different life.

My life has been so weird!

I get weirded out just thinking about it. Suddenly, this world seems so big and different. The world is a very strange place. It is beautiful and different and diverse, full of people. Lots of people. Broken people who are craving love. Lost people who don't know who their Savior is. Wealthy people whose treasure will burn away like straw in a fire. I want to meet these people. All of these people.

I bet there are people out there who have never had a hug.

Can you believe that?

Hugs are awesome, and I love them. There are children out there who have never been touched in a loving way. All of the sudden I want to find these children and just hold them. And hug them. And kiss them. And snuggle with them. Maybe I will meet children like this if I become a teacher. I hope I do.

Wow, this post was so random. It had no flow or direction... which is a lot like my brain. These are just thoughts I have been thinking lately.

I should probably go get ready for my day now. I want to go out of town, away from buildings, and just walk around. I hear there are some great parks off Rock Prairie, on the other side of the highway. I think I will venture out there.

Have a nice day.

It's funny I say that, because I'm listening to that song right now (by Stereophonics). It reminds me of England. Especially because they are British musicians and they're singing about a visit to the United States, and how they look different and sound different.

We dress the same way, only our accents change.

-Katie

Violators Will Be Prosecuted

I'm convinced that Satan's greatest accomplishment was making humans believe that our lives are private.

If you look around, it's everywhere. You can go to the library and get a private study room or booth.

You can work in an office in a cubicle.

You can live in an apartment and have your own bathroom.

You can put a gazillion passwords on your computer.

Everyone has their own car.

Everything is private. We have this right to keep things to ourselves and not let anyone in. We have been conditioned to think that no one wants to hear our problems, and that it's not right to ask anyone about theirs.

What is craziest to me is that all of these private things are considered luxuries. To go from sharing something to having your own is supposed to be a wonderful, good thing. You get promoted in your job, so you get your own office.

Congratulations! We're going to separate you from everyone else.

What on earth...

Reading about the early church in Acts 2:42-47 must sound like torture:

...All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praises God and enjoying the favor of all the people...

They liked this. They loved being around each other. They were all up in each other's business. They met together every day. They ate together. They shared their things. They were glad.

Yeah, this definitely doesn't happen much anymore. Satan got into the heads of us humans (especially us Americans) and gave us the grand idea that we should separate ourselves from everyone else as much as possible. Everything seems to be getting more impersonal.

AIM

Facebook
email

Text messaging
Drive thrus

We will do anything to keep from talking to people face to face. It's really quite sad.

And we're supposed to carry each other's burdens? (Galatians 6:2)
Restore each other if someone is caught in sin? (Galatians 6:1)
Confess our sins to each other? (James 5:16)
Provide for our relatives? (1 Timothy 5:8)
Live in harmony with each other? (Romans 12:16)
Consider each other's needs above our own? (Philippians 2:3)
Build each other up? (Ephesians 4:29)

Are you crazy?

If I am struggling with someone, the last thing I want to do is go to someone and tell them about. No, no, that will make them think less of me. That will make me seem like a weak Christian. They will judge me. They will look down on me.

And that's exactly where Satan wants us.

Seemingly put-together, I've-figured-everything-out, strong and happy Christians. But slowly breaking and dying inside. Wrestling, struggling, painfully bearing our own burdens all by ourselves.

The Church has become a bunch of private people meeting publicly.

Satan laughs at this.

God cries.

For this is not the way we were made. We were made to do that list of things I wrote above. Yet we don't, and we're really suffering for it now. Community is no longer community. We don't meet to share our lives, we meet to play Guitar Hero and watch movies. Things we can do by ourselves, with other people present.

I'm sure you've all experienced this conversation:

"Hey! How are you?"

"Good, how are you?"
"Good!"

Ohhhh poop. That is my most hated conversation. And yet I have it at least once a week. I am trying to avoid it, though, and I think I'm getting better. Sometimes I say "great" instead of "good". Or if I'm really feeling down, I might say "tired". It changes.

And I'm suffering for it.

The Body is suffering for it.

I'm trying to think of how to end this on a good note, because this isn't exactly a happy post. It's a frustrated post about how we have let ourselves believe that privacy is the way to go. And yet real growth and change happens when we are real, genuine, vulnerable, open and honest with each other.

I want real growth. I want real change.

I will pray that God convicts me more of this. I should stop keeping things to myself and sharing my life openly with those around me. That is my prayer today.

-Katherine Louise

Tomorrow's Friday, What What?!

Who invented licorice? I want to know who is responsible for that black nastiness. That stuff is so disgusting. Bleck.

I am continually in awe of the way that God provides and ordains certain relationships in my life. Yesterday I had lunch with a friend that I have known since the beginning of freshman year. I hadn't hung out with her in a very long time, so a catch-up was certainly overdue. We talked for 3 hours. I heard her relationship/engagement story and almost cried - it was so beautiful! I can't believe that I've missed so much. I found out that her fiance is moving to Denton to go to grad school at UNT, so next semester she will be all alone here. Her roommates have already graduated, so it seemed like she was in desperate need of some friends to hang out with, go to the football games with etc. Plus, she will only be taking 12 hours (as opposed to the 16-17 she's been taking each semester since freshman year) so she'll have a lot more time on her hands.

I got so excited.

I love this girl, so any opportunities to hang out with her make me excited!!!!! Plus, I will be able to go to Denton with her (roadtrips are so fun) and show her around. She will be teaching high school there after she graduates in December, and she doesn't know much about the Dallas area. Perfect. I don't really have any friends in the Denton area, so I will finally have someone to visit and hang out with when I go home to visit! Also, if I end up teaching there once I graduate (provided I'm not married or whatever... or even if I am... who knows), I will have wonderful friends to fellowship with.

God is good.

I am ecstatic.

He provides!

I can't wait to see Back to the Future III. I watched the second one yesterday, and it left me hanging. I think they go to the Wild West and do some fun things there. How awesome! Haha.

I haven't taken a shower in two days. It's getting gross. Personally, I like this whole sloppy thing. People don't recognize me and I bet I look like a downright mess. Who cares. I am pretty much wearing pajamas and it is awesome.

One of my favorite things ever is talking one on one with someone. You know you have found a good talking partner if you can talk for hours on end and still have more to say (these people are hard to find). If I could have any job I wanted, I would be a professional One-On-One Talker. Although I would do it even if I wasn't paid, I love it that much. People's lives are fascinating!

Ok, I have class now.
Au revoir.
-Katie

The Sixth Love Language

Gary Chapman is a genius, but I think he made a little mistake when he wrote this book:

Now, don't get me wrong. I agree with everything that is in this book. I grew up with my mom telling me about the five different love languages, as described by Gary Chapman. They are:

1. Quality Time
2. Acts of Service
3. Words of Affirmation
4. Gift Giving
5. Physical Touch

I grew up knowing that it was important to pay attention to someone else's love language, because that is how they feel cared for. I would try to figure out my friends' love languages, so I would know how to treat them so they felt special. My love languages are the first two on that list - quality time and acts of service. If you want to hang out with me and spend time with me, I feel special and valued. Likewise, if you do something nice for me (even if it's like... organizing something for me or filling up the gas tank, unloading the dishwasher etc.) I will feel special. I guess you could say that quality time is my #1 love language, and acts of service is #2. I love them both. The reverse is also true: if I want to hang out with you and spend a lot of time with you, it means that I like you a lot, or if I want to do things for you, it means I like you a lot.

I think love languages are just as important as knowing someone's personality. They help explain how that person works. I also think that love languages are the reason behind so many failed relationships and marriages. If you have a woman whose love language is acts of service, and a husband who never helps her around the house or with the kids, the woman may turn to nagging him about it. The man just thinks she is cranky and annoying, but really, she just wants to feel loved. And the best way for her to feel loved is for her husband to give her a hand with things.

So I really do agree with Gary Chapman. I think this book is excellent. But I still think he made one tiny mistake.

There is a sixth love language.

I know this because I am convinced that I have it. I have been trying to put this one thing into one of the other five categories, but I'm not sure that it really fits.

That one thing is the love language of letters.

Letters. Notes. Messages. Emails. Wall postings. Post-its. Blog comments. Cards.

It doesn't matter what it is, I love it.

I get absolutely ecstatic if I get a letter from someone, emails included. When I sign onto Facebook and see "Inbox (1)" I start dancing around the room and making up songs. A big smile breaks out on my face, and sometimes I start to giggle. I love letters. I don't know why, but when someone takes the time to send me something, it makes my day! It could be as simple as a "hi" (seriously, that's all it would need to say), but it will still make my day. So, if you send me letters/messages/whatever, I probably love you by now. And if you don't... don't feel bad. I still love you! And just to clear something up: I would much rather have someone spend time with me or do something nice for me than write me a letter. Heck yes.

I think I will have to write a letter to Gary Chapman and inform him of his slight error. I'm convinced that it's an actual love language. I have it.

Every morning on my walk between Pilates and Statistics classes, I pass this wonderful tree in Academic Plaza. Every time I see it, I think about how great it would be to climb it and sit on this one particular branch, overlooking the plaza. Maybe I will one day. But someone would need to come with me, because climbing a tree by myself may be difficult, and it could also make me look ridiculous.

I am starting to believe that John Mayer might just be my favorite musician ever. He is melodic, edgy, contempative and pensive. I never get tired of his music. I pretend that they don't play him on Candy 95. Because I consider almost everything they play on there trash. And John Mayer is way above trash. Now, to see him live...

I have a full hour before my next class. I wish there were comfy couches in Blocker!

Do you know what I think is ridiculous? When students have crushes on their teachers. And by students, I mean college students. And by teachers, I mean youngish professors or grad students. It makes me feel awkward.

My statistics teacher is a grad student, and so he's pretty close to our age. He's also really buff and has ginormous muscles, and is pretty good looking and funny. And you can tell that some of the girls really like him. One or two in particular. They will try to tease him or be sarcastic with him, joking around and... basically flirting with him. It makes me absolutely sick. Seriously, girls.

I found out the other day that my mom reads my blog. So, I have two things to say:
1. Hi, mom!
2. You should start blogging again, for real.

Maybe I will go find a couch somewhere. I am incredibly tired, still.

Peace out.

-klh

Monday Morning Thoughts

That Satan is a clever guy.

This morning I found out something pretty worrying, and I almost got sick to my stomach worrying about it so much. I mean, this thing is pretty important, but worrying about it isn't going to help a thing.

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

Matthew 6:27 and Luke 12:25, (NIV)
(It was so important, this question was in the Bible twice!)

Once I realized this, I turned my attitude around and started praising God instead of getting upset at Him (even though this thing is not something He is responsible for).

James 4:7 says, Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

I started to resist the devil. There was no way he was going to rule over my thoughts! Once I started praising God for His blessings, the devil left. He fled. He couldn't bother me anymore because I wasn't giving him that foothold (see Ephesians 4:27).

It's so easy to see why Paul and Silas praised God by singing in prison! (Acts 16:25.) Satan was not able to bother them when their focus was on Christ.

Amazing!

God has been teaching me a lot lately, mostly about worrying and words.

I sin so much in my speech, and it's something I've become immune and almost oblivious to. I am sarcastic and critical. I don't build others up. I tear them down! Sometimes I can say something that isn't necessarily critical or rude, but my tone of voice is not kind and loving. God has been convicting me of this a lot recently.

Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) --

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Oh dear. Is my speech benefiting those who are hearing it? Not always. Something needs to change.

This is my argument for cussing. I can't stand cussing.

Some people call it a "gray area" but it seems like the Bible is pretty clear on this.

Is it benefiting those who listen? No.

Is it helpful for building them up? No. A lot of people are actually offended by cussing.

Read this:

Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and slander (evil-speaking, abusive or blasphemous language) be banished from you, with all malice (spite, ill will, or baseness of any kind).

Ephesians 4:31 (AMP)

I think we could all agree that cussing is "abusive" and can be put in the "malice" category.

Plus, if we are living our lives to glorify Christ, and we come across a controversial "gray area", don't you think we would want to stay as far away from it as possible? If we don't know whether or not cussing is a sin, and we want to honor God, shouldn't we just stay away from cussing altogether instead of doing something that we're not really sure God approves of?

Just a thought.

And I'm still learning. I need to practice what I preach!

Do you ever get excited about new weeks? I think a lot of people tend to dislike Mondays, because it means another 5 days before the weekends. But I like Mondays. It's a new start, a new 7 days, a new chance for God to teach me something. The weekends are fun and all, but sometimes I feel like I'm wishing my life away by always looking forward to them.

I realized today how close graduation is (less than 16 months) and I got sad again. I tend to get sad when I think about graduation, because I love college so much. I realized that I need to savor every moment that I have here, and look for opportunities to share Christ's love with others while I'm here. Time is precious!

I have never walked under the Century Tree, but I have always wanted to. I think it's such a beautiful tree.

I don't want to be proposed to under it, though. Come on, guys, think of something a little more creative! :) I can understand that it's special because of the tradition the corps has, but still... think of something different.

Class starts pretty soon, so I should probably go collect my printouts and be on my way.

Have a beautiful Monday. Enjoy the day that God has blessed you with!

- Katie

Theme of the Month: Quirks

Every time I come home, I lose my shoes. I practically wear them all around the house, but whenever I sit down, I take them off. After a little while, I will get up again and not be able to find my shoes. I will search the whole house: under the couch, under the table, in the bathroom (I tend to wash my feet a lot), in Tawny's mouth...

Then I will spot them.

On my mom's feet.

For some strange reason, my mom loves to wear my shoes. I don't understand it, but she will always put my shoes on when I see her. If I buy a new pair of shoes, she will want to try them on. And I'm pretty sure her shoe size is 1.5 sizes bigger than mine! I guess it's just one of her quirks.

I love quirks.

They make people so interesting.

I wash my feet every night before going to sleep. I love the feeling of going to sleep with clean feet. I don't think it's something I will ever stop doing. I also tend to stand on one leg (like a flamingo) while I brush my teeth.

Carolyn will make cups of tea, leave them sitting on the table to cool, and never drink them.

Christina plays with the salt shaker at the dinner table. She will take it apart and put it back together. Over and over again.

Claire has worn the same belt every day for years. She loves that belt.

Kellie bites her nails like it's nobody's business. It's worse than a normal nail biter.

My dad crosses his legs all the time. It's kinda girly, but it's him. He also loves romance novels and movies (he is a Nicholas Sparks fan).

Everyone has quirks, and it makes them unique!

My sisters and I are watching "Facing the Giants" right now, and so I'm a little distracted. I'm gonna go watch it.

After I clean my feet. :)

Bet You Can't Guess Where I Am Right Now!

I'll give you a clue: it's flat, boring, and 4 hours north of College Station.

DING!!!

You are correct!

Little Elm, Texas!

I got home from class today and Carolyn and I got hungry, so I suggested going to get lunch. While we were getting ready to leave, Carolyn said, "I wish I could go home right now."

So we did. We packed our bags and 20 mintues later were out the door, headed towards Dallas. We ate lunch at the new Blue Baker (recommended - it's excellent!) and spent the next 4 hours on the road. We didn't even tell my mom we were coming! Actually, Carolyn called Christina and I called Sarah Green (we were supposed to meet her in Houston tomorrow, but it turned out that she wasn't going. Perfect!). We agreed to meet at someone's house for game night, where my mom and younger sisters would be arriving later.

So my mom arrived at the house, and didn't even see us sitting at the table. Sarah introduced her to a bunch of other people at the table (I thought my mom would see my hair, seeing as she was standing RIGHT behind me), and once Sarah realized she wasn't catching on, she said, "And have you met...."

We turned around and my mom screamed.

There's nothing as fun as surprising someone. :) Or being surprised. It really is one of my most favorite things ever.

I'm so glad we came. It's gonna be a fun weekend.

So.

The Hall.

I went last night, for the first time ever. I can't tell you how scared I was. Who knows why I get worked up over weird things. I just do. Maybe I was scarred in my past, or something. I spent 15 minutes laying on the couch, practicing my pilates breathing exercises to calm me down. Finally Austin knocked on the door and I almost threw up.

Oh. My. Gosh.

I am pathetic!!!!!!!!! I had the best time of my life, almost.

It was definitely up there.

I got to go out to eat with Austin and his sister Kristin, and it was a blast. Kristin is hilarious! Those two are so funny together. We talked about pot roast, fish and chips with malt vinegar, gangs and jokes written in bathroom stalls. I was laughing my head off all night.

After dinner we went back to Austin's house and he taught me how to dance. It wasn't half as difficult to pick up as I thought. I learnt some spins and twirly things, which were a lot of fun but tended to make me dizzy if I did too many.

We sang musical songs the whole way there. Well, Austin and Kristin did -- I didn't know the musical -- but maybe one day I will learn them. Those two are funny.

When we got to the Hall, I learnt to play pool because we got there pretty early. It was hard at first, but I did manage to do okay. It was a lot of fun. I have been missing out, for sure!

Once the gang got there, we danced. I got to use everything I had just been taught, and it was SO much fun! I even did a flip. Well, two actually. But not in the middle of dancing, because I probably would have killed someone. Maybe with a little practice I will master it.

We left at about 1 am, and that was probably a good idea because I was getting pretty tired and shaky. I smelled like B.O., sweat, smoke and bad breath when I got home. Mmmm mmmm. Haha!!

I have never felt more Texan in my life. The past few weeks have opened up a million new doors for me: fishing, shooting, two-stepping, pool... and who knows what I'll get to add next!

Now, I just need some boots. I will begin the search for some!

I seriously can't believe I'm home right now. It feels funny. Hopefully I can get a haircut tomorrow... I know that sounds random but I really need one! My hair is getting out of control!

The picture at the top is called "Twostep" or something like that. I thought it was very artistic. I like art. :)

Ok so I am amazingly pooped. I need to get something to eat and then sleep. I hope you all enjoy the weekend.

-Katie Lou (ha)

Baby, It's Hot Outside

I got the short desk today. And you know when I'm saying that, it means that it's really short. I got this desk in the Blocker lab that is kind of cut in half horizontally, and the half that has the keyboard on it is lower than the part with the monitor. So my knees are hitting the keyboard part and my neck is strained from looking up to see the monitor. I can't figure out how to change it. Hmm, oh well.

We got out of pilates really early today (at least 20 minutes early), so I have lots of extra blogging time. But I can't think of what I want to say. I'm mostly very tired, and I need a nap today for sure. Tonight, I am doing something very exciting.

I'm going dancing.

For me, this is big.

It's not "normal" dancing, though, but it's two-stepping. My friend Austin has been trying to convince me to go to the Hall for weeks now, and I was very nervous about it. I mentioned this on the phone when I was talking to my mom yesterday, and she said

"You need to just suck it up and go, Katie."

Okay, mom. I'm going.

Apparently, by the end of the night, I'll be doing flips and stuff.

I think I just peed in my pants.

That scares me so much! I am very much a comfort zone person, and dancing is out of my comfort zone. Well, serious dancing, I mean. I can do crazy dancing when I'm in the apartment with my roommates and we're listening to something cheesy and funny. But serious dancing is beyond me. I've never learnt how, and I honestly think that is part of the problem. I guess tonight will be my night to learn!

I'll let y'all know how it goes.

For the past week or so, I have been getting out of bed and then leaving for class 30 minutes later. I look like I'm wearing pajamas (pilates attire), and my hair is messy (I don't do anything to it once I get out of bed) and I have no makeup on. It's awesome. Especially the no makeup thing. I probably look drugged or scary or something, but whatever. I can go home, take a nap, then wake up and take a shower and get to looking normal. It works for me.

I hope that once I become a mom, I don't let myself go. Carolyn, Kellie, Anna and I made a promise to each other years ago -- if one of us started letting ourselves go, we would give them a good talking to. It's all about accountability. But I'm all about comfort. I could just see myself getting into that baggy t-shirt and sweats thing. But for my husband's sake, I won't. :)

I listened to Christmas music yesterday. For some people, that's considered a sin. But for me... it's not. I love Christmas, and I love Christmas music! I listened to "Baby, It's Cold Outside" from the Elf Soundtrack as I walked to the bus stop yesterday. It was about 95 degrees outside, but it made me think of the cold weather that we'll get... eventually.

I want to go here.

Yeah I'm fresh out of stuff to say. I'm a little distracted because my sister Claire is talking to me online. I think I shouldn't try to multitask right now.

Peace.
-K

All Hail Twenty-Eleven

This has to be a fairly quick post. I need to leave in about 40 minutes to go cook dinner for my wonderful comgroup. Mmmm pasta bake!

Don't tell anyone, but I am listening to the Backstreet Boys. It makes me laugh.

So, the class of 2011 is here. Almost. I see them walking around on campus every morning with their parents, doing new student conferencing things. They are normally looking for the Pavillion.

The girls have all got tans (probably leftover from prom), and are all dressed up.

That'll change once they realize they would rather sleep than dress up cute for class.

The guys are all cool and hip and all, with their blonde highlights, surfer haircuts and Abercrombie clothes.

That'll change once they realize they're in college now, and no one cares.

They are all carrying maroon and white MSC Bookstore bags containing registration details, information on the leaving times of the campus tours, and about 17 campus maps.

Their parents normally walk beside them, and they are easy to spot from a mile away because they are either a maroon speck or are decked out in Aggie Mom stuff. I think I can count the number of parents on one hand I've seen who were not wearing some sort of Aggie item of clothing (my mom was one of those moms). I actually don't think that either of my parents owns anything that says "Texas A&M" on it. And both of my parents were Aggies.

I don't care who you are

Where you're from

What you did

As long as you love me

Great lyrics. Musical genius.

*barfs*

And yet, I just want to dance.

Back to the freshmen thing. Is anyone else excited? I am. I love freshmen. They stick out like sore thumbs on the first day of school, because they are the only ones who thought about what they were going to wear that day (it probably took them an hour to pick out an outfit), and they carry a map to class. They ask where the MSC is, and how you get to northside.

I say all of this jokingly, because I used to be one of those freshmen. I hope you know that I really do love freshmen. They are at a wonderful point in their lives, and it's exciting to see a lot of them grow and change, learning more about Christ and His love. I love talking to freshmen and listening to what God has laid on their hearts. They are brilliant. They are impressionable. A lot of times, they are alone and afraid.

I was.

I flew to College Station all by myself from England, crying the whole way. Leaving my family was so difficult for me. I remember the conversation I had with the U.S. customs officer guy once I arrived in Dallas.

"Why are you flying back to the States?"

"For college."
"Why were you in England?"
"My family lives there."

"Oh my goodness! Well, welcome home."

I think I burst into tears. I was home, but it was hard for it to feel that way.

I want to find the freshmen who had experiences like me. They are everywhere. I just have to find them. I know how they feel. It's so scary. It's too bad that I will have all my core classes out of the way once the fall comes. I will find a way, though. I will meet freshmen!

I honestly can't believe that I am a senior. What the heck!? Where did the time go? I remember my new student conference like it was yesterday. I didn't have a clue what I was doing. I didn't know what a credit hour was. I had never heard the word "kinesiology" in my life. I hadn't even used American money in a while.

I was so lost.

I went to Fish Camp and Impact by myself. My best friend Anna was there, but we weren't in the same camp for either one. When I got back from Impact, my mom was in College Station, which made things better. But she didn't know anything about college either, so we were these two clueless Americans who didn't know anything about... America.

People got a kick out of the fact that I lived in England. I told people that I had dated Prince Harry, and for the longest time, everyone believed me. One person was so gullable that they stood up and yelled that to the entire 12th Man cafeteria. Oh. Dear. That's when I realized I should stop telling Americans things that were incredibly stupid and yet they still believed them.

My best friends lived in the same dorm as me (and are now my roommates). We were so immature. We would do the stupidest stuff because we didn't know any better. We would run on that drill field by the SSG and then get yelled at. We would sneak into Dunn and blow an air horn in front of doors, then run out before the RA could catch us. We would jump out at people from behind walls at night. We thought that a trip to Sbisa was an exciting adventure. We hung out in the TV lounge because we didn't have TVs. We would eat at Rumours because they had the best food on campus. Our entertainment was daring each other to drink Tabasco sauce. We never got off campus because we didn't have cars, and so going grocery shopping was like heaven. I really miss freshman year.

Yet I am so glad that I finally grew up. :)

I am afraid that my reminiscing will have to come to an end now, since I need to go cook for comgroup.

Ahhh, memories.

-Katie

Ode to Blocker

Ohhh, the Blocker building. What semester would be complete without a class there?

I think I can honestly say that I have had a class in Blocker every single semester during my time at A&M. Actually, I just looked it up.

I have. At least one class each semester.

It's probably the building on campus I like the least, apart from Zachry. That building makes me depressed.

This summer session, I have statistics in Blocker. Like almost every other math class I've taken here. At least I feel home!

With the exception of a couple classrooms, none of the rooms in Blocker share an outside wall. Some bright soul decided to make hallways around almost all of the classrooms, inside the building. There are no windows. At least I don't think I've been in a classroom here with windows. And all the hallways look the same. It normally takes me about ten minutes to find my classroom at the beginning of each new semester.

Yet in a strange, sad, way, I have come to love this building. There is a computer lab there (where I am sitting right now), and there's even a little bistro-type deal at the front if you get hungry.

However, there never seem to be any Battalions left.

I think that's all I'm going to write about Blocker. That's really all I can say.

Since my Pilates class seems to get out at 9, and I don't have my next class until 10, I have decided that this is my new blogging time. I come to Blocker computer lab. find a computer and type my little heart out. So I guess that means you get at least 4 new posts per week. Probably more, since I enjoy writing so much.

How cool would it be to write a book? I think that would be awesome. Although I'm not the book-writing type. I barely even read books, let alone write them. I think I would be bad at it. I would suffer from really awful writer's block (it even happens during my blogging time) and I think I would eventually give up. And it definitely wouldn't hit a best seller's list. I'm sure my mom might order a couple copies, and maybe my sisters, but apart from that, I doubt anyone would read it. I don't even know what I would write about. Living in England? I talk about that too much anyways, so making someone read a book about it might make them throw up. I guess that for now I'll just stick to blogging.

That reminds me. Do I talk about England too much? I knew someone from another country in high school, and she would constantly talk about it, comparing everything to her homeland. People got really annoyed. Personally, I understood where she was coming from, but no one else did. As far as they were concerned, England was where you live now, so you should forget about any previous countries you lived in.

I tried not to talk about Texas too much.

But that's really hard when something is such an integral part of your life.

I can't talk about me without mentioning England. That's who I am. I am this strangely British-American person. I am only British in descent, really, and yet living in England has made me British. I understand life there almost as much as I understand life here. If my parents had thought about it, I could have had dual citizenship. That's really weird to me, honestly. I think it's odd how you can become a citizen of a certain country. I mean, it makes sense, but thinking of myself officially recognized as a British citizen weirds me out. I still think it would be pretty cool. Can you imagine having two passports? How awesome.

I'm sorry if me talking about life in England annoys you, but I'm not going to stop. God allowed me to have that experience for a reason, and so I won't stop talking about my experiences there. :)

On a completely unrelated note, I made a B in my Texas History class (smile with me, here-- that's a good thing). I couldn't freakin believe it. I'm pretty sure that I didn't deserve a B. I knew that I did well on my last test, but I didn't think that it was enough to give me a B. I thought that I calculated that I would need to make a 100 on the exam to make a 80.6 in the class overall. So maybe I made a 100. Who knows. I don't care. Just getting a B makes me really happy!

Ok peeps, I need to go to class now. I'm one of those weird people who gets there 15 minutes early on purpose.

Oh. One more thing. I am having an absolutely amazing summer. I can't believe that I have been blessed this much. :)

-Katherine

One of Those Days

I am having "one of those days."

I don't know how a day gets to be "one of those days", but today just is. Well, this morning has been, at least. Hopefully from here on out it'll be normal.

Nothing bad happened yesterday. It was actually a really really good day. I had a wonderful afternoon and a great night. So I didn't go to bed upset or anything.

But I forgot to turn the snooze button on my alarm on, and I didn't really hear my alarm when it went off. That's why I use the snooze - it takes a couple alarms to go off for me to actually hear it sometimes. Thank goodness I woke up at 6:03 and wondered, "Did I just hear my alarm?" and so I checked my phone to make sure. Sure enough, the snooze symbol wasn't there, and so I knew it was time to wake up. At least I didn't wake up an hour late or anything (which could easily have happened since I only got about 6 hours of sleep).

I got ready for school. No problems there. I was out the door at 7:10, which I thought would leave me plenty of time to catch the bus (I thought it was supposed to come at 7:15). As I get to the halfway point between my apartment and the bus stop, I see the bus pull up next to the stop. It was way too far away for me to run and catch it, so I simply turned around and headed back into the apartment. Buses only run every 30 minutes, so I knew that I would probably be late for my 8 o' clock class if I took the one at 7:45.

Hmm. I couldn't take the car, because Carolyn needed it. I could walk. But I thought about passing through Scary Neighborhood and that seemed like a bad idea. I then remembered that my bike was on the back porch. Perfect.

I rode down Dexter Street and got very close to George Bush before my stomach started hurting. Actually, it had kind of been hurting all morning, and I shoved some cereal down my throat to try and make it feel better.

Bad idea. The bike thing just made it all worse.

I pulled over behind some trees and thought I was going to barf.

Nope.

Nothing.

I walked my bike to George Bush and had to sit on the sidewalk before I crossed the street. I honestly thought that I might black out. I think people were looking at me weird. Finally I crossed the street, heading behind the Alumni Center and down Houston Street. By this time, I was really starting to feel nauseous. But I could see G. Rollie in the distance and knew that if I could just make it to the bathroom, I would be okay.

Half way down Houston street, right across from the parking lot next to Kyle Field, I started feeling really awful. There was no possible way that I could make it to the bathroom. I walked as fast as I could towards the next bench. If I was going to throw up, I would at least do it sitting on the bench with my back facing the millions of college students.

I couldn't get there fast enough.

I got sick.

In public.

In front of everyone.

It was so embarassing.

I hung my head on the handlebars of my bike for a few minutes, and then I sat down on the bench.

It wasn't over.

I threw up again,
all over my feet.

I was wearing flip-flops.

Then I had to walk my bike to the bike rack, lock it up, and go to the bathroom to clean myself up. The whole time I was walking in my own vomit.

I washed my feet, and this time I had a legitimate reason to. (Haha.)

I'm pretty sure I smelled awful all the way through my pilates class.

I don't think I've ever thrown up in public before. I can't believe my first time came when I was 21.

Remind me not to ride my bike to school if I am feeling even the slightest bit nauseous. :)

Anyways, I am feeling much better now (read that in a Sixth Sense voice). I haven't been sick since and my pilates class went fine, except for the part where my teacher pushed down on my ribcage really hard. I thought I might throw up on her hands, but it didn't happen, thank goodness.

I think the day will be beautiful from now on. I can feel it. :)

-Katherine

Thinking Makes Me Restless

I know I will either need a lot of kids or a really hard job when I'm older, because I don't know what to do with myself if I don't have anything to do. Take right now, for example. I just got back from church, and I'm eating lunch. After lunch, however, I have no idea what I'm going to do today. Carolyn needs her alone time and so I think she's going to go to a park by herself. That leaves me without a car, which is fine, because I understand when you just need to get away. But I don't really have any homework to do, and so I'm trying to decide how to use my time today. Maybe I'll just read. Reading is always good. Plus I really need to finish the book that I started a few weeks ago and haven't been reading recently.

Maybe I'll just go to Coffee Station and work on stuff. Hmm.

Something happened today. Something clicked with my spirit. Or heart. Or something. Something inside of me felt right. I won't go into details because I need a lot of prayer over this one issue. It's something I never expected God to lay on my heart right now, but it's happened. Please pray for me about this! God knows what it is, so even if you don't know what you're praying for, He does and will take care of it. I'm just not really sure what to do about it. I think I need to talk to someone about this... Sorry this sounds so vague and mysterious. I'll probably talk about it soon, and I have no problem sharing about this with anyone who wants to sit down and talk to me face to face. I know that doesn't help.

It's funny how God prepares us for what will happen later in our lives. This is what I mean: My mom got an education degree, and then had two children who were severely dyslexic, and was able to use what she learnt to help them learn to read and do math problems. One of our family friends was a nutrition major and then had a daughter who was epileptic. She was able to use her knowledge to completely get rid of the epilepsy! I recently heard of someone who got a degree in education for children with hearing impairments, and then had a child who was deaf and could use sign language with them. God is so amazing! Sometimes we don't know why God leads us in certain directions, but it becomes clear later in life.

I am a math and science education major. I have four younger sisters. I lived in England for almost 9 years.

I have no doubt that God will use all of that (and more) later in life. Maybe I will have a child who has great difficulty with math. They could be dyslexic (I think it's hereditary or something, because it really runs in our family). Maybe I will have to move to another country when I'm older. Or maybe I will meet someone from England who lives here and be able to relate to them because of my life experiences. I can't think of anything for the four sisters thing, though. Maybe I'll have a lot of children?? Haha. Who knows. That's up to God. ;) I could keep guessing at this all day, though, but I'll never know what He has in store for me. I am just thankful that He is preparing me today for things that will happen in the future.

Blahhhh I need to talk to someone right now. It's driving me crazy. I just want to sit and have a 5 hour long conversation with someone about life.

Actually, I need to pray.

-K

Wise

-adj.
having the power of discerning and judging properly as to what is true or right; possessing discernment, judgment, or discretion.

I want to be wise.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
Proverbs 9:10

This is where I'm starting.

Yo Shorty, it's Independence Day

I just need to be about an inch taller. Maybe two.

That way, my jeans wouldn't drag on the ground and get torn up when I wear flat shoes. I always buy jeans "to wear with heels", but of course I never wear heels. I'm a flip-flop girl. So my jeans get ruined.

I'll never forget the time the school nurse threatened to stretch me.

I went up the stairs near the library and waited for her to call my name outside of her office. When my turn came, she proceeded to weigh me (in kilograms) and measure me. I think I had grown about 1/4 of an inch since my last visit.

"We'll just have to put you on a table and pull your arms and legs so you get taller!" she said.

I was scared for my life.

I never thought that being short was a bad thing.

People always made fun of me.
I learnt to walk really fast to keep up with my friends.

Now, three of my four sisters are taller than me.
My 12 year old sister calls me "Shrimp."
My 14 year old sister calls me "her little sister."
I wear a size 0 or XS (sometimes I can fit into a size 1 or S). It's not hard to find that size at the store because most people are a M.

And all the guys are taller than me. :)

I like being short.
I can wear heels and still be shorter than most guys.

I almost always pass as being younger than I am. Everyone thinks Carolyn is older.
It's fun.

I just wish I could reach that top shelf...

On a different note, it's the 4th of July. As if you didn't know.

Carolyn and I plan on going to watch fireworks at the George Bush Presidential Library tonight. I think this year has sentimental value because it's the first year I've spent the 4th of July in the United States since 1997. Yes. It's been a whole decade.

I have good memories of the 4th of July. I can remember my dad opening the trunk of our station wagon (he had a bad wreck and totaled it when I was 6, so I must have been younger than that) and letting us sit in the back, dangling our feet off the edge. My dad had bought some firecrackers and fireworks, and he lit them in our front yard. I particularly remember the rocket he lit. I thought that was the best thing I had ever seen. I remember seeing it shoot into the air and explode. I also remember him setting black cat firecrackers on our backyard fence and then lighting them. I would stand on the back porch, covering my ears in fear and yet smiling in excitement.

But my favorite were the poppers and the sparklers. I'm not sure if they're actually called "poppers", but that's what we called them. The little things you throw on the ground and then they make a little "bang". We would pour them on the ground and dance around on them, listening to the melodious popping noises they made.

Once it got dark, we would light sparklers and write our names in the air. It was artistic and magical at the same time. I still remember the disappointment that would come once the sparkler ran out.

Sometimes, my parents would take us somewhere to watch fireworks. I remember two times in particular. One time, we went out into the country and watched them in a field. I think it had been a pretty dry summer because the grass caught on fire and the fire department had to come. The other time, we went to a hotel (Ramada, perhaps?) next to I-35 and watched a laser show followed by spectacular fireworks on the golf course. I never understood the point of the laser show. I think I got bored.

I miss getting a big blanket, laying down in the warm summer air, and watching beautiful explosions high above me. I'm sad that my whole family can't be together this year for Independence Day. I'm sad that my sisters and I have all outgrown our flag dresses. (Ok, I'm not really that sad. But everyone thought we were cute.)

Perhaps tonight will be exciting in its own special way.

Happy Freedom Day.

P.S. If I had kids, I would make them wear these today. I think they are way cute.

i love the miles between me and the city

Haha... I walked into my room and that's the first thing I heard... therefore, I put it as my title. Gorgeous song. I am kind of in love with Jon McLaughlin's music... especially his piano playing. Absolutely beautiful!!

So apparently my clothes have no personality. Carolyn told me that today when we were shopping at Old Navy. I do kind of wear the same things all the time -- I tend to buy multiple colors of the same shirt. And I buy solids, mostly. They go with more things. So, while I was at Old Navy, I bought a shirt with a big bird on it (it was on sale), a shirt with some random hearts all over it, and a not-so-normal shirt (still a solid color, though). Perhaps my wardrobe will perk up a little bit.

I also bought some curly hair gel stuff when we were shopping. I took a shower and put it in my hair, and it smells like a fish. No joke. I even got Carolyn to smell my hair, and she agreed. Seriously, why would the hair gel company decide to sell stuff that smells fishy? I really don't get it.

Today was the last day of my Summer Session I class, and I took a final. I actually could answer almost every single question. I didn't have to read every choice for the multiple choices thing. I knew before I even looked at the answers!! That is very rare for me. I used a new study tactic though, and I guess it worked really well for me. I am a very visual learner (and I think I might be kind of kinesthetic, too), so it helped me to type out a review sheet of all the important stuff, then highlight the extra important stuff. I could remember where something was on the page when a question came up. Craziness. I am going to be a teacher and I am only just now realizing how I learn.

I am eating a sandwich right now that makes me want to barf. I will remember this combination before I make a sandwich again. Nuh-uh.

I'm done.
Peace out.

He opens His hand and satisfies the desires of every living thing

Can you think of a time where you went somewhere or did something, and you came back really refreshed, like you were full of life again? Can you think of a time where you left a place or a group of people and your heart felt sad because it was over? That's really how I felt today, as we left Austin's farm in Leona. I can't put into words how much fun I had this weekend!

Carolyn and I drove for an hour and ended up in this beautiful little town, if that's even what you would call it. 7 other people came too (4 boys, 3 other girls) and we stayed in this little red house for the weekend.

We all got there on Friday night, and we hung out for a while before Erin and Ryan made dinner. Amazing! The guys even did the dishes afterwards, which I thought was wonderful. There's just something about a guy doing dishes that makes every girl's heart melt!
(This is everyone except for Carolyn)
After dinner, we went fishing. I had never been fishing, so it was quite an experience! I had a lot of fun catching grasshoppers.

Here's the fish that I caught! I was so excited!

Later that night, we went out and made a bonfire, then proceeded to roast marshmallows and make s'mores. Austin brought his guitar and played and sang (we sang too, sometimes), and we just enjoyed each other's company.

The next day, Austin gave us a "Gun 101" lesson. He explained things very simply, including gun safety and such. Then we headed to the field where we had had the bonfire the night before. The boys set up some cans as targets, and we practiced shooting. I was SO SCARED! I had this strange fear of guns (probably because I never was around them, growing up in England). After I shot the pistol, I got more relaxed and started to enjoy shooting.

Here, Austin is teaching me how to shoot. I stood really far away because I was so scared...
Here I am shooting the pistol!
Then we took a little walk to another target practice area. That's where I learnt how to shoot a shotgun! It was actually pretty fun, once I got past the freaked out stage.

We ended up taking a "boys with guns" picture and a "girls with guns" picture:


Austin ended up shooting a bunny, and then someone shot a caterpillar in half. It was pretty neat!

After shooting, we found a spot where we could swing on some vines that hung from trees. It was so fun! I thought this was the coolest picture that resulted from all the pics taken of the vine swinging:

That afternoon, we watched a movie and then most people left. Carolyn and I cooked dinner for Austin and Kyle, and we ended up talking for hours. And when I say hours, I mean over seven. I had so much fun talking to everyone! We talked about quirks, passions, ideal careers and dental hygiene. I probably could have talked for a few more hours, but I got really tired and had to go to bed. We left this morning after breakfast, and I got really sad. That's the bad thing about being an extrovert -- you have a lot of fun with some people, and the moment you have to leave them, it gets really depressing. I didn't say anything in the car for a little while, because I was so sad. It's kind of pathetic. And I only spent two days at the farm... When we went to Juarez, I was depressed for about a month afterwards because I missed everyone so much. But that's kind of going off track. I guess I just like people a lot!

Last night when we were talking about what we were passionate about, it really got me thinking. I know that I am passionate about serving other people... but what other deep desires has God placed in my heart? I felt a little weird answering that question because it made me want more passions. I am a very happy person who gets excited about a lot of things, but I wanted to know what really made me joyful and enthusiastic. What were those deep desires? I know that I desire to grow and learn about Christ. I want to fall more in love with Him every day. I want my life to be reflective of God and His glory. I strongly desire to do God's will and go where He calls me. I really really want to be obedient to Him (it's very difficult sometimes!). I guess that maybe this is something that God will develop in my life... I've definitely been thinking a lot about it, though.

I guess I should go study now. I hope you all enjoyed the pictures!

-K

Down on the Farm

Howdy howdy howdy!

I am back. It's been a great week, and the weekend will be even greater! This weekend (yes, right before finals), my sister and I get to go hang out with some awesome people on one of our friends' farms. I guess it's not really his farm, but someone in his family owns it. That's besides the point. The point is, it's going to be fun! I can't really explain how excited I am! Also, Carolyn and I get to cook for everyone on Saturday night. I've been wanting to do something like this for a while, and now I finally get the opportunity! We are going to fish, shoot and build a fire, apparently. I bet you are all laughing right now.

Me? Fish? Shoot?

Yes, I'm scared. I am a sit-in-a-coffee-shop-and-talk kind of girl. I am good at doing indoor kinds of things. But this is my chance to finally be "Texan". I have missed out my whole life! I haven't got the slightest clue how to do anything outdoorsy, really. Fishing reminds me of my Papa, because he loved it so much. I didn't know him very well when he passed away (I was 14), so doing something that he loved will make me feel connected to him in a way. Ok, I know I sound creepy, but I can't explain it. Bottom line, I am excited about getting to enjoy God's creation. :)

Have you ever tried to eat a sandwich that had grated cheese on it instead of sliced cheese? Well, I'm doing that right now, and it's very difficult. All the cheese keeps falling out and it's pretty messy. We ran out of cheese slices, so I had to use the grated cheese. Never again.

I found out yesterday that my family are going to be coming into town today. They were in Birmingham visiting my Pop (dad's dad), and since Claire has to be at camp on Sunday (the camp is not too far from here), they thought they would stay in CS until then. It's kind of sad because Carolyn and I won't be in town this weekend... I wish we could have gotten a heads up about this, but whatever. I am sure I will be going home soon (I really need a haircut and I'm scheduled to have my teeth clean in July), so I'll get to spend time with them then.

Well y'all, I'm sorry none of this is entertaining. I was just updating for the sake of it.

Peace out!

If My Brain Exploded Right Now, This is What the Contents Would Look Like

I feel like I need to write, because my brain has been full of thoughts recently. I'm not really sure where to start, because there are a lot of thoughts. Sometimes I think that if someone really saw into my brain, they would be scared. It's crazy in there! I wrestle with so much in my mind. I try to make sense of things, which is probably bad half the time because God didn't make everything on this Earth to make sense to us humans. Here's what I've been thinking a lot about (hang in there, it's VERY long):

Being a Wise Woman
I go to a discipleship class every week with women in my church. We started off doing a book written by a woman at Living Hope, but we are not going to follow the book so strictly now because our leader felt like God had laid some specific topics on her heart that she needed to address in the group. The book was all about being a Wise Woman of the Lord. I have been thinking a lot about this because I have a very strong desire to be a wise woman.

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Proverbs 14:1

This verse is the key verse for the book, which you can actually find here. I have been thinking a lot about what it means to be a wise woman. I am at a very exciting point in my life right now, I think. I'm single. A lot of people hear the word "single" and think "looking for a boyfriend", but it simply means that I am not married. How exciting! You don't get to be single for very long in your life, if you really think about it. Once you're married, that's it -- God can no longer use you to minister to others as a single woman. Being single is also exciting because it means that it is a time of your life that God can work on you. You don't get married and suddenly become a perfect wife, mother, woman, whatever. It gets more difficult. (Of course I am not speaking from experience, but I have talked to enough married women to know this is the truth!) A lot of women have told me that when you're married, all your bad habits come out. The real you is revealed, and if you're like me, it's not pretty. I wouldn't want anyone to have to see that, let alone live with that!

And on a different note, your relationship with God certainly doesn't become perfect. When you're married, you have this other person who takes a lot of time and energy. You have to focus a lot on keeping that relationship alive and healthy! And becoming a mom... sheesh! Thinking about that wears me out! You won't always have lots of wonderful time that you can use to spend with God. Which is the most important relationship of all. If you are used to putting God on the back burner now, when you get married and start having kids, putting God on the back burner will be what happens. It will be automatic. If God doesn't get first place now with your time, He won't get first place later. Simple as that.

So... I'm single. As I said. I also said that I want to become a wise woman. How does that happen? Well I have all this free time.

I don't have a boyfriend. I don't have someone to call me and talk for hours with every day. I don't have an obligation to spend a lot of time with someone.

I don't have a job (but I need one. That's another story.).

I am taking summer school - one class per session - and I'm done by 11:20 every day.

There's no better time to start!

God obviously wants to show me something right now. He wants to teach me to manage my time wisely, just like a wise woman would! And so that's where I'll start. By spending time with Him. I already read the Bible regularly, but do you want to know what I really struggle with? Prayer. For some people, that comes really naturally. But for me, it's very difficult. I already told you that my brain is crazy. Praying makes things even crazier. I'm afraid though, that it's mostly due to the fact that I've let Satan have a stronghold in my life with regards to my thoughts. I daydream to the extreme. I have no focus with my thoughts. And Satan loves to use that weakness of mine! It's similar to having a small rip in a piece of clothing. You get that rip in there, and with a couple little tugs here and there (that happen without you noticing), you end up with a huge hole and a completely ruined article of clothing. I don't want to be ruined! (Of course you can repair the hole by sewing it, which is kind of like what God does.)

I read something yesterday that made me think a lot.

You can tell how popular a church is by who come on Sunday morning.
You can tell how popular the pastor or evangelist is by who comes on Sunday night.
But you can tell how popular Jesus is by who comes to the prayer meeting.

If you love Jesus, you will cry out to him. And my cries seem to have a great starting point, but then my mind drifts off.

However, Jesus came to destroy Satan's cunning schemes:
The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil's work. (1 John 3:8b)

So no longer, Satan, will you have a hold on me! God is so much more powerful than that. He is bigger than my distractions. He is bigger than my daydreams. He is bigger than all my problems!

So I will grow closer to God this summer by spending time in the Word and by praying. Seems simple, but you wouldn't believe how easy it is to fill up your time every day! This is a slight tangent, but that is something else I have been thinking a lot about: wasting time. I waste huge amounts of time every day, especially on the internet. Yuck. How pointless! It kind of goes along with my life's theme - me. I am the star of the show. And so naturally, I have to continually check to see who has sent me an email. Who has sent me a message. Who has written on my wall. It's all about me! Another one of my goals this summer is to manage my time better. I want to stop wasting so much time!

Back to the wise woman thing. I am blessed with a lot of time right now, and I want God to use that to shape me into the woman He wants me to be. I want to be prepared for several things:

1. Marriage
This is not guaranteed, but the majority of women on this Earth get married. So just in case it's God's plan for me to fall into that majority group, I want to be prepared! I talked a little bit about this earlier, but I know that you don't just become this amazing person when you are married. I want to learn to be submissive to my husband. I know this might be hard to learn how to do right now, but I can learn to put others first for a start. As I said, I live in the World of Me, so putting others first doesn't come naturally. Philippians 2:3 says to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Ouch. I need to work on that! People who are not used to considering others better than themselves have problems with authority. And who is in authority in a marriage? The man! (See 1 Corinthians 11:3.) Here I am, single, with no prospects in sight. Perfect time to practice this whole humility and selflessness thing! I can start with the way I treat my roommates, my sisters, my parents. There are lots of opporunitites!

I have heard a lot of people say to focus on "becoming the person your ideal husband would want to marry." Well, yes. I think that it is important to examine yourself before you date. And that's very much what I want to do. But it shouldn't be your only motive. Changing and desiring a close relationship with God should come from wanting to glorify your Creator! We're not just here to get married, y'all (it sure seems to be trendy right now at A&M, though)! We're here for our Savior. I think there's a reason it's called History (Get it? His story?? Haha.). It's all about Him! So let's let that be our motive in becoming wise women. Or men, if you are a guy. :)

2. Motherhood
It hit me the other day that I might one day be a mom. I was looking around at all the young mothers at my church, and I pretty much freaked out. Until I remembered that I'm not pregnant, I was thinking, "I'm not ready for this!!!!!!" I don't think anyone really is ready for parenthood. But we can prepare a little better before we are even married! Children are told to honor your father and mother (Deuteronomy 5:16) and obey [their] parents in the Lord, for this is right (Ephesians 6:1). A parent has a huge responsibility to raise their child so they fear God.
Proverbs 22:6 says to train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Ephesians 6:4 tells fathers not to exasperate their children, but to bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Um, wow. I can already tell this is going to be hard. I'm pretty sure God doesn't want mothers to exasperate their children either!
Parents also pass their sins down to their children. Children will act like their parents do. If their parents cuss, they will cuss. If their parents have a selfish attitude, their children will think this world is all about them, too. I don't want to pass my sinful habits down to my children. I want them to see me putting Christ first. Before my husband. Before them. I want them to see that honoring God is the most important thing they can do with their lives! So by starting now, I want to get off on the right track, for my children's sake. All of this, of course, is if it's God's will for me to have little kiddos!

3. Ministry
I want you all to know that I don't think this is something that will come in the far future. No, I don't automatically get a ministry when I get married. I have one now! God has something planned right now for me. God wants me to use my life to minister to others right now. He can use me in my brokenness. He can use me in my strength. He can use me all the time! And that is the reason I want God to help me become a wise woman now. I will grow and change and be strengthened and broken for His glory, for ministry. It's His plan. All I'm doing is offering myself as a living sacrifice. He wants my life! Of course, when I get married He may change the way that He wants to use me. That is very probable. In fact, I really hope to go into ministry with my husband. Not sure what that will look like, though. I have talked to some people about this, but most people don't know that that is what I truly want to do with my life: ministry. Notice that "I" and "want" are in italics. Those are my plans. It could be God's plan for me to have a normal career. He may want me to be a teacher for the rest of my life. If so, great! If not, great! It's God's plan either way, and it's what's best. And I want to be prepared for whatever I'm supposed to do. Whether it's sharing my life and spending hours and hours of time with college students (my ideal job) or teaching math to a bunch of pubescent children, I am excited. God is good!

Look at that -- the three M's! Haha, that was just a coincidence.

I am very excited with what God will do with me this summer. The surface is only just beginning to get scratched. I can't wait to be changed by Him, molded by Him, shaped by Him. I desire to be a wise woman of the Lord. Thankfully, God says that if we desire wisdom, we should ask Him, and He'll give it to us! (See James 1:5.)


Convictions

Carolyn just walked into my room a little while ago and started sharing a bunch of stuff with me. She told me that she had been convicted of a bunch of stuff this summer. I asked her to list it, and she looked at me and said, "Seriously? Are you sure? There's a lot..." She proceeded to list all the things she had been convicted of so far, and it was weird because

they were

the exact

things

I had been

convicted of.

The same list.

She was nervous about sharing her list with me because she thought she had a lot of struggles. It just goes to show that honestly and fellowship go hand-in-hand, and it's something that God desires in the Church! We were meant to share our struggles with one another. A lot of the time we keep things inside, thinking that no one else has those same difficulties.

Not true.

Because I had the same ones.

And Carolyn's list was long:

Words
I have been thinking a lot about the tongue recently. It's compared to a ship's rudder in the Bible (James 3:4,5). Matthew 12:34 says that out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. Um, what?! Seriously? Because I say some pretty mean stuff. I am critical and condemning. That makes me feel sick -- that's a reflection of what my heart looks like! I am harsh and quick to answer so many times. God is convicting me in terms of what I say to others. Tiffany and I were struck by 1 Peter 3:8&9 in The Message the other week:
Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless—that's your job, to bless. You'll be a blessing and also get a blessing.

Sharp-tongued sarcasm? I am pretty good at that. And yet the Bible says that it's my job to bless others. I am supposed to build up with my words, not tear down! (See Ephesians 4:29.)

Motives
This is a biggie for me. I have awful motives most of the time. Sometimes I will post things on my blog because I want people to read it. How sad is that? Pride is a huge problem of mine. I will put things on my Facebook profile so others will read it and think, "Wow, she read that book? I admire that!" and so on. Pathetic. Yet we all seem to do it. Reading my Bible in public places is becoming difficult, because I have gotten attention because of it. And of course that feels good. Yes, I am a Christian! Look how holy I am! Now I know why Jesus told people to pray in the secret and give money in secret (read Matthew 6)! I think motives go hand-in-hand with pride and selfishness. God will search our hearts and reveal our motives:

All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord. (Proverbs 16:2)

Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God. (1 Corinthians 4:5)

My movies really suck most of the time. I pray that God would search my heart and reveal motives that are not pure!

Time/Laziness
Ohhh dear. I am awful at managing time.

Completely awful.

I will spend hours doing pointless things (email, facebook, doing who knows what) instead of managing my time wisely. I know I touched on this a little bit in my last section. I went to the college service at Grace today with Carolyn, and the whole sermon was called "working hard or hardly working?" (Read Proverbs 6.) Ouch. That hits home. I need to prioritize what I do! God should be #1. It shows when He's not. And He's not most of the time. I end up with a list of stuff I haven't done and about 8 hours of wasted time at the end of every day. That sucks.

Prayer
Basically, my prayer life needs to explode. I definitely have some communication issues with God!

Money
This is really embarassing. Although I am hard worker if I have a job, the money I get from that hard work seems to go down the drain. I buy pointless and expensive things. What the heck is going to happen when I get married? I want my husband to be able to trust me with our money. I want to spend it wisely. I want to save. So basically, a lot of things need to change. Sometimes I feel like I have no self control when I go shopping (maybe the way to solve this is not go shopping? Haha). It's really bad sometimes. I'm not in debt, and I hope I never have to be. Thankfully, that scares me to death. The thought of credit cards make my throat close up. I have used them before, but I pay them off the moment I can. I know it might be unavoidable, but I don't want to use them if I can help it.

Bible Memorization
Psalm 119:11 says, I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.
We honor God when we memorize His Word! Jewish boys used to memorize the entire Old Testament by the time they were 14 or something like that. Can you believe that? We memorize the Bible to keep ourselves from sinning. Sounds good, right? When I was little, I went to something called AWANAs. It stood for Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed, which comes from 2 Timothy 2:15. We memorized Scripture ever week. Actually, a lot of the Bible verses I know I memorized in AWANAs. We are to meditate on the Law day and night (Psalm 1)! I have gotten really bad at that.

I am great at using biblegateway.com. I can remember the jist of most verses. I can kind of recite a lot verses. But I can't for the life of me remember the address! If you gave me my Bible (since I have things highlighted and I know where on the page they are), I would be able to find some verses. Apart from that, it's awful. And I know that God wants me to learn what the Bible says. It's good! It's useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness (2 Timothy 3:16). Who doesn't want that?!

Prostitution
Before you all freak out, I don't mean this in the literal sense. Have you ever heard the song "Wedding Dress" by Derek Webb? If you haven't, you can listen to it here. Even if you have heard it, this video is pretty cool once it gets going.

I have been thinking a lot about how I prostitute myself to the world. I trust the world and not my God. I constantly run from Him. A line in that song says I am a whore I do confess; I put You on just like a wedding dress. It would be pretty ridiculous if we saw a whore get married. What would we be thinking? It'll never last. She'll go back to her old ways. Are you serious? A whore? Commitment? That's like me. I am in this relationship with the Creator of the Universe and yet I still turn from Him. I am crazy. I think there's a good reason that Israel was compared to a prostitute in the book of Hosea (go read it, it's one of my favorites in the Bible!). We choose other lovers instead of the One who can love perfectly and unconditionally! Yet He still considers us our husband instead of our master (Hosea 2:16). Our God is good.



Guess what? I think that's all. I think I have completed my thoughts for tonight. If you made it this far, then congratulations. You just read a novel. Check it off your summer reading list.

But seriously, I can't believe this post was this long.

I am exhausted now. My brain is still thinking, but a lot of those cooped up thoughts are out! Yay!

As my blog title says, "God has spoken, and the rest is commentary."
Well I hope that I provided some truth from God, with a lot of my own commentary.

My life is abundant and full of joy. Ask me about my God sometime. I would love to share the wealth with you. :)

-Katherine

Pop! Goes my Heart

Last night I hung out with a really fun (and crazy) group of people. Carolyn and I got invited to a BBQ by our friend Austin, and hey, we like random things, so we went. It was a blast! The guys who live with Austin are insane. We sat around, talking about random stuff, jamming out, listening to Boston, playing Guitar Hero and then eventually we decided to watch The Phantom of the Opera. I couldn't believe it when all these guys started suggesting that movie! I was a little impressed, to say the least. I thought most guys hated girly movies (especially girly movies that are musicals). But they all loved the songs and we had a wonderful time analyzing it. What a fun group of people.

Sometimes I wish that my life was a musical. If people just burst into song all the sudden in real life, things would be so much more fun! I am tempted to start dancing sometimes, as I listen to my iPod when I'm walking across campus. It's too bad stuff like that isn't normal.

I've been listening to some funny music today. I think this song/video is hilarious:



It's from the movie Music and Lyrics, which is not an amazing movie, but the music is pretty good. Hugh Grant makes me laugh, a lot.

Carolyn and I went antiqueing (sp?) today. We didn't find anything.

Well, I should probably go do something productive.

Peace out.

Fimkimmyshell

That's what my dad and his siblings used to call ice cream when they were little. It had to do with a commercial that was playing on tv back then (the commercial actually said "...thin creamy shell..." talking about the ice cream it was advertising). Anyways, I just got through eating some Key Lime Pie flavored Blue Bell ice cream. Pretty good. Not as good as anything containing chocolate, though.

Today I had a history test that pretty much sucked. I wish I was good at history. I studied for hours, but I still freaked out during the test and forgot a lot of stuff. I made a ton of stupid mistakes, I think. At least it's over.

I'm sorry I have neglected all my adoring fans (ha) for the past couple days! History took up all my time. I joke that Sam Houston took up all my time, because I had to read a book about him. I think I had some dreams about him, too. Scary stuff.

Ok, I feel like putting some pictures on here.

This is where I have class every day. Isn't it beautiful? I know you can't really see the building, but I think having the trees there really make it gorgeous. I found out the other day that it was built in 1932.

Tiffany wanted to leave to leave our study party at Coffee Station to go play volleyball, so this is me giving her an evil look as she packs her stuff up. Except that I don't look angry, I just look weird.

This is Carolyn working on a top-secret project. Haha! She's really just doing a little arts and crafts.

Well, I had a lot more to say, but I need to run some errands. Maybe I'll post something later.

-Khrieante