To You

Hi.

So, I'm sitting here in my so-called "room" at home, listening to John Mayer and typing to you. I wonder who you is, exactly. You! Show yourself! Ok, just kidding. But I am curious.

I just finished reading a delightful book entitled Searching for God Knows What, by Donald Miller. He is one of the most amazing writers I've read stuff by, in my opinion. (Boy, that sounded eloquent.) This book says everything that I've been thinking this past year. All my feelings about the church are explained in this book, even though this book is not really about the church. It's a book about a general thought process, and general discoveries about Jesus and our purpose on Earth. I love the way that Donald Miller thinks. I want to marry someone like him - I don't mean that to sound weird, but I want my future husband to have that kind of mindset. I know that Miller isn't perfect, since we are all human, but I feel like his thoughts are right. I think if I were to ever meet him, I would like him a lot. He is not judgemental, he thinks things through and tests them with Scripture, he is honest without being rude and critical, he is open about his faults and imperfections. Quite simply, I love his work. I highly recommend this book!

I will be 21 on Sunday. That's hard to believe.

It's really cold in this room right now.

Last night, Carolyn and I fell asleep having a conversation about Christianity in modern America. It was Donald Miller's book that really inspired the conversation - I had so many thoughts running through my mind about the things he mentions in there. I told Carolyn that I wish that I could have been raised in a country that had never heard of Christ. I wish that I could have grown up without seeing pictures of the tame Jesus that we see in books and on TV - the one with birds on his shoulders and a glazed over, not-with-it look on his face. I wish that I wouldn't have heard rule after rule after rule and step after step after step of things you must do to be a "good Christian". I wish that someone could hand me a Bible and that I would be able to read it without all of that stuff going on in my head the whole time. I want to be able to picture Jesus without the white toga and the red (or perhaps blue, depending on the day) sash across his chest, blue eyes, milky white skin and a pretty non-scraggly haircut. I just Googled "Jesus" and looked at the images that came up. This is what I'm talking about. After looking through some of the pages of images, this is one that I saw more than once:

Something tells me that this isn't what He looked like. I'm getting off-point a little bit. As I was saying, I wish that I could read the Bible and let that be the only source that told me what Jesus was like. Of course, I wouldn't trade my life for anything -- I'm just saying that sometimes I get annoyed with who the world says that Jesus is. Carolyn and I talked about what the Last Supper might really look like, and then compared it to a communion today. I bet that Jesus' disciples would be freaked out if they walked into a typical American church during communion. First of all, they would notice the rows of chairs, all facing a pulpit. They would probably wonder what a pulpit is, and why it was on a stage, and why all the chairs were facing one direction. They would probably wonder why we had shiny platters with tiny crackers filling them, and why we were passing them around, and everyone was taking just one, and holding it in their lap quietly. Then they would notice the tiny cups of grape juice that we were passing around, heads bowed, all neatly organized and solomn. I bet the music would be strange to them, too. So... almost sad sounding. Why do we do things this way? How did communion morph into this sad, grave habit? I bet that the Last Supper was nothing like this. Everyone was lounging around in a rented room - probably not very nice looking. It could have been light outside, still, who knows? They were eating and filling themselves with wonderful food. I bet someone was telling jokes, and I bet that they were really enjoying each others' company. I bet that when Jesus started talking, everyone looked at him and thought "Here He goes again, saying stuff we don't understand..." since that tended to happen a lot. They all could have been tipsy, too. I bet there was a lot of wine. They were told to remember. They weren't sure what they were going to remember, at that point, but I bet that after Jesus died and rose again, remembering wasn't such a grave and solomn affair!

All of these things are just thoughts -- who knows what really happened, or what it was really like. I just know that being in America, and anywhere else for that matter, we have changed things to suit us and our culture. It's so sad. We have placed Jesus in a box, with a ton of labels placed on Him. And I really don't know how to say everything I am thinking... I do much better when I'm talking rather than writing (ask pretty much anyone). All I know is that I want to change the way that I live as a Christian in the United States. I'm tired of rules placed there by people who assume that Jesus identifies with their political affiliation, way of thinking, or even, rules placed there by myself. I want to follow Christ and Christ alone. I want to love others and build His church.

Man, I wish I was better with words. Just read Donald Miller's book, because it explains all that I am thinking.

Carolyn cut all her hair off today. I am so glad, because it needed to go (the split ends were getting awful). I am also slightly jealous, because I have always wanted to be able to wear short haircuts. However, having insanely curly hair prevents me from doing so. People always say that they are jealous of it, but I know that after even 24 hours of having my hair, they would want their straight hair back.

You can't see it very well in this picture, but I promise it's very cute!

Carolyn and I also spent hours driving around Corinth, Lake Dallas and Hickory Creek (I swear I've never been there in my life). We drove by the house we were born in, the first church we ever remember going to, and our favorite play place as a child. Anyone remember these??

My old house: it looked 100 times better when I lived there (I think it's a college house now). My mom saw this picture and almost cried.


Lake Cities Bible Church - now a daycare. I wanted to take a better picture, but I think I would have creeped out the workers, who were all outside with the kids. I miss it being blue.

The entrace to the Fort. Almost exactly how I remember it!

The Fort - looking out towards the cul-de-sac. Many happy memories were made here...

Looking towards the bridge... this path used to be train tracks from the early 1900s.

I'm sure you are all very tired by this point (if you made it to this point!). I am getting tired, so I will make my way to bed. I hope you all enjoyed the pictures... whoever you is. ;)

Goodnight.