Monday, November 10, 2008

Right Now

Hello, world.

I'm here. I'm okay. It's been a while, but I can finally spend a little time by myself on my blog. Translation: student teaching is slowing down!

I have written about 27 posts in my head in between my last real post and this one. I have played with words in my mind and tried to find some worth posting. Yet now, on this stormy evening, I have forgotten every word that I meant to put on here. Instead, I am left with me, now. My mind at this very moment.

Right now, I am tired. I just finished my last two weeks of full responsibility in the classroom. It was so busy that I could barely keep my head above it all. I was doing everything. My students forgot that they even had another teacher, and in fact, MJ was gone last week for 3 out of the 5 week days. The other two days, she stayed out of the classroom all day. I got used to being the teacher, and I loved it. The kids became mine, and today was my day to give them back. When I told my kids that this week was my last week, one student said, "Who's going to be our teacher?" as another student rolled their eyes and replied, "Our teacher!" I had to laugh, and felt quite proud of myself. It meant that my students saw me as a real teacher, and it made me happy. I can't wait to have a classroom of my own, where I am the actual teacher, and I don't have to leave my kids after 12 weeks.

Right now, I am reunited. This weekend we had our annual family reunion for my dad's side of the family. I got to see my aunts and uncles as well as my cousin and grandfather. It was a wonderful weekend full of conversation, memories and laughter. Austin was able to meet everyone and it was special. Everyone loved him and told me so. Last night, we had "Celebrate Pop" night. We had a cake specially made in honor of my grandfather, and everyone presented him with handwritten notes that we had made for him. It was better than any gift we could have given to him. Now everyone is gone back to their respective states, and the house feels empty. I have my bed back, but I didn't even mind giving it up. It was a great weekend.

Right now, I am learning. The weather seems to be reflecting my life lately. The major theme right now seems to be "change", and I am experiencing much of it. There are so many things that I have been learning recently, most of which relates to marriage. Austin wrote up a budget for us, and explained it to me. We are going to be saving anything that I make and putting it towards a house and kids' college stuff. Hopefully, by the time we are ready to have kids, we will have a house and have saved up a good amount for their college expenses. Austin is so wise with money. I love that he seeks the Lord and is so generous yet smart with what he earns. He is a wonderful provider and I know that I am in good hands!

So, that's Austin's thing. My thing has been my charting. I am convinced that most of the couples who have difficulties getting pregnant wouldn't have problems if they charted the woman's waking temperatures and CF. I have learned so much about my own body by charting! I discovered that I have a short luteal phase (the second half of my cycle) which can cause difficulties when trying to get pregnant because the baby needs at least 10 days for implantation to occur. However, I found out that the problem can be easily corrected by taking vitamin B6 supplements. I started taking it today so I'm going to see if it helps. It is insane how much I am learning just after two months!

Right now, I am trusting. I have been reminded many times recently that I am not God. I often feel overwhelmed with how much I have to do in the next two months, but I know that God is faithful and that I am not alone. Things don't always go the way that I want them to, but I have to keep trusting that God is in control.

Goodnight, world. I'm sorry I haven't updated recently. It's been crazy around here!