Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The Pace of My Life Has Slowed Wayyy Down

Sometimes I walk into my kitchen and it smells like dirt. I keep wondering why this is and what is causing it. It's not a bad smell, but it's not like I walk into the kitchen and think, "Gosh, I just love the smell of top soil at this time of day!" I'm sure all you horticulture and agriculture majors out there think otherwise. I just would rather smell cookies than dirt.

I have switched to writing this post on Microsoft Word since my internet is having issues. I’m at Coffee Station and my internet NEVER works here. I end up trying for about an hour to get it to connect to the internet, but for some reason my computer hates the internet here. Writing a blog on Microsoft Word is nowhere near as fun as writing it on I feel more like I writing a paper, and I’m paranoid because I don’t have a heading or a title right now.

As the title of my post indicates, the pace of my life has completely changed. I now no longer study for ridiculous hours at a time and worry about how much sleep I’ll get at night. Instead, I can wake up when I want and do whatever I want during the day. All I have left is one final that I can’t even study for. I love being able to relax, but right now I would actually prefer to be busy. Everyone around me has their nose stuck in a textbook or laptop of some sort, and here I am, typing away on my computer and eating Wild Berry and Watermelon & Punch Nerds. I love Nerds. Austin and I went to the movies with some friends last night, and he bought me some candy but I didn’t finish it. So I’m sneaking it right now because “outside food and drink” is not allowed at Coffee Station. Hopefully they’ll be okay with it because I plan on getting a slice of old-fashioned pound cake later on.

Pound cake reminds me of my dad. My mom used to make it for his birthday every year since it was his favorite dessert. She would follow my dad’s grandma’s recipe, but it never turned out quite like hers. Maybe one day I can try to make it and see how the results are. Perhaps I have the magic touch, although most likely I don’t. My dad doesn’t eat sugar really. I think that’s why he likes pound cake – it is not sugary sweet and normally doesn’t have icing. I definitely did not inherit my sweet tooth from him.

Wow, my lap is burning up. I wish my laptop didn’t get so warm. Sometimes I am paranoid that this machine is zapping me with radioactivity and that I am slowly losing my ability to have children. Occasionally I will pick it up so that I don’t feel so conscious about it. I just put my purse underneath my laptop, but I am starting to feel the heat penetrating through. Almost every time I type “underneath” I end up typing “undernearth”. I have no idea why, but it happens about 80% of the time.

Apparently, I am quite honest in my blog. Maybe it just brings out the truth in me. Ali was surprised that I admitted not like Jack Johnson. Well, I recently discovered that I don’t really like Norah Jones, either. I bought her CD and everything, too. However, I have noticed that I always fast forward JJ and NJ’s songs on my iPod or on Pandora every time they come on. It’s relaxing, sure. But I think it goes beyond relaxing to just plain boring in my opinion. And while I’m on the topic of music that I don’t like right now, I should add that The Fray are not my favorites either. I think it’s his voice. I definitely don’t mind listening to them as much as Norah or Jack, but it isn’t really a thumbs up sorta thing for me.

Am I the sort of person who could wear Toms shoes? I think they’re cute and different. Definitely the sort of thing that trendy Christians wear. But could I do it? There is a girl sitting near me with white Toms on that have been splattered with different colors of paint. They look fun. They’re for a good cause, too.

I think that my boyfriend is the most handsome guy I’ve ever met. I tell him this, and he just laughs. But it really is true. He’s sitting near me and is just so handsome. He’s definitely the best looking guy in Coffee Station right now. I just looked at every other guy in here (not in a weird way, I promise), and he is certainly way better looking. He could be a model.

Haha, that last sentence reminds me of a quote from The Office.
Dwight: I like Karen. She’s pretty and appears intelligent.
Jim: Well, I like pretty women who have the appearance of intelligence.
Dwight: My girlfriend is also beautiful and smart. She could be a model. Or a college professor.

Well whaddya know?? I restarted my laptop and plugged it in and now the internet is working. Fantastic. I’m gonna go post this now before something happens.

Peace out, friends!


Saturday, April 26, 2008

Box of Memories

There's a huge plastic box that sits on a shelf up in my closet, and it is full of old memories. On Thursday, Ali encouraged me to go through it, and throw out things I didn't need anymore, as well as remember the things that were in there.

So tonight, I did.

There are so many things in that box that I had forgotten about. Looking through it brought back a flood of memories and made my chest hurt so much that it was hard to breathe. I would describe myself as fairly sentimental, and it was hard for me to realize that the memories represented by the items in the box were gone.

I found a Ziploc bag filled with almost every single airplane ticket I've ever used. There are so many stubs in there! Flipping through the tickets made my eyes well up because I realized that it's almost been two years since I've been to England. Before I know it, more time will have passed by since I've been back than the time I spent there. It will be a distant memory, the kind of thing you tell your kids about but vaguely remember. When living in England once used to be my entire life, eventually it will be "something I did when I was younger". I know I'll return one day, hopefully. But when will that be? After I'm married? And with the way gas prices are going now, when on earth will we ever be rich enough to afford a trip there? It makes me numb thinking about it.

I found many cards from the day that I got baptized. That was a special day: August 1st, 2004. About a week before I officially moved back to Texas for college. The letters were encouraging and refreshing to read. I miss that church.

I found a large number of ticket stubs from football and basketball games, movies, OPUS productions and other performances I've been to during college.

I found notes and letters that my old roommates wrote to me. They are so sweet and I miss living with them. I know I followed the Lord in moving into a different duplex, but I really do miss living with them. We had so much fun - playing "interview", yelling "drink, mommy farter" to the neighbors during their many keg parties, hanging out on the porch during the great College Station Blackout of 2006, complaining about our neighbor constantly calling to Serenity, her puppy, and dancing and singing during our annual "White Trash Christmas Party".

I found bingo stampers and a filled-in bingo page from the ONE time in college I went to play bingo. That was a fun night - the football game was postponed due to insane weather, so we went to Bryan and played bingo, then returned to watch the second half of the game.

I found my FLiC decal that I had been looking for for years. Maybe I'll put it on my car, but since my days of FLiC are over, maybe I won't. I miss FLiC. We had wonderful times.

I found a clear plastic container with one single chip inside from the summer of 2006 when Carolyn and I worked for Pepsico. I stole a chip from a batch that we made, stuffed it inside the container and saved it. I miss those days in a strange way. I still remember Hooman telling us to google his name, and then laughing hysterically. I miss psychoanalyzing the employees.

I found a giant button that we bought for Carolyn on her 18th birthday. It is actually a "Spin the Bottle" pin, and has things like "Kiss for 30 seconds", "Tickle your partner anywhere", "Sing a love song" and other scandalous things on it. We also bought Carolyn a strawberry flavored cigar, since she could legally smoke. We had no idea what to do with that thing.

I found a few notes and letters from my ex-boyfriend. This is what actually made Ali encourage me to go through my box. I had told her that I found some letters while looking for something in the box a few days ago, and she said I should probably throw them away. At first I felt mean or something, but then I realized that it was definitely the right thing to do. Would I want my future husband seeing those notes? No way. Would I want my kids finding those notes and asking me about him? The thought makes me want to gag! Holding on to stuff like that is just wrong!! Of course, I didn't realize that I had it, and I am definitely over that relationship in every way, but having those in my posession is not right. I even threw away cards that his parents have given me. It felt right because I know that my life from now on does not involve him in an intimate way at all. In my opinion, when you break up with someone for good, you should get rid of anything that still ties you to them in any sort of more-intimate-than-friendship way.

On a different note, last night I went to RV Ball with Austin. It was so much fun! The guys all wore their whites, and all the girls looked gorgeous in their ball gowns. Aggieland Orchestra played, and of course Austin sang during some songs. I felt like I lived back in the 1940s. I had always seen pictures of dances when the soldiers would come back and wear their uniforms, and all the girls looked pretty. They would dance to big band music and have a really fun time. I have always wanted to go to a dance like that, and last night I felt like my dreams came true! Even though the guys aren't actually soldiers (although many of them will be), it felt similar. Here are a few pictures.

Austin and I at dinner

Everyone dancing

Courtney and I having a great time

Austin and his partner Carolyn singing with the band

I had a wonderful night and it was so much fun. I'm sad because it was my last dance to go to in college. Who knows when my next formal function will be? I hope they happen after college, but I doubt that teachers have fun things like that to go to. I will find a way, though. Formals can't just be for high school and college kids!

Oh! I got my placement for student teaching yesterday! I will be at the middle school that I wanted, which is great! It's the closest one in Frisco to my house. It's like 12 miles away, which I guess isn't too bad. I will be teaching 7th grade science and I'm sooo excited. I have thoroughly enjoyed teaching 7th grade science this semester, so that's perfect for me. I have been praying for a good student teaching experience. I can't wait to meet my mentor teacher!

Well, it's getting later here and I need to get ready for bed. I hope that everyone is doing well. I love you.


Monday, April 21, 2008

Things That Go On In My Head On A Monday

  • I really like oatmeal bread.
  • I want to take a nap.
  • I don't really like Jack Johnson.
  • Why does the bus always go so slow whenever you need to go to the bathroom really bad?
  • I think I like the dark chocolate Dove chocolate better than the milk chocolate ones.
  • These Cream Cheese & Chives Wheat Thins are a nice change from the Sundried Tomato & Basil ones.
  • I'm so proud of Austin for getting his first job offer!
  • The flowers Austin brought me yesterday are so beautiful. He is so good about bringing me flowers!!!
  • Muster is tonight.
  • I have never seen Austin in Whites (his RV uniform).
  • My roommate got engaged last weekend!
  • I can't wait to organize my room when I move home.
  • I'm going to need a desk or something. Everything is going to be super organized.
  • I get a King-sized bed. Which isn't necessary.
  • I also get my own bathroom. Heck yeah.
  • This is my last week of field observation. I will miss my 7th and 8th graders a lot!
  • I wonder where I'll be student teaching... I find out on Friday.
  • RV Ball is on Friday, too. I can't wait. Austin will be singing there. I hope I don't step on his boot again.
  • Whoever invented Pandora Radio is a genius.
  • Even though school finishes (pretty much) on Thursday, I have a lot to do before then.
  • I hope it works out for me to go to Macie's wedding.
  • It's going to be a fun wedding.
  • Time to take a nap.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Heaven in my Mouth

I have a feeling that all food in Heaven will taste like Dove chocolate. I don't think there's anything better tasting on Earth. I just bought a bag at HEB and I have it sitting beside me. I bet I could eat that entire bag right now. Well, maybe not, but if I don't stop soon it will be half gone. One of the best parts of the Dove chocolate experience is the fact that there are messages written on the insides of the wrappers. The one I just ate said "Be mischievous. It feels good." Well, I don't think I have an opportunity to do that right now. Maybe later.

I think I found the answer to being sweaty and stinky when you don't have time to take a shower. I was on the deodorant aisle at the grocery store and I found out that Dove (haha, two products with the brand name of Dove that are completely different) now makes this new body spray stuff. I decided to try it, and I believe that it works quite well. I normally just spritz some perfume, but it doesn't get rid of the smell that well and disappears after a little while. I think this spray is the answer. I am about to try it on my feet for fun.

Welp, I'm hungry.

Time for protein (ie. chicken)!

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Confessions of a Senior Education Major

I'll get right to the point.

I enjoy watching the students pair up or form groups when the teacher tells them they can pick their own partners. I always want to know who goes with who. Watching the pair/group interact for the rest of the class is the second part of the fun.

Ever since my mentor teacher told me that RL and KB (names abbreviated to protect the 7th graders) went to the Valentine's Dance together, I have been watching them. They sit on opposite sides of the room from each other, and never make eye contact or speak to one another. They are both shy and studious, hard-working and quiet. Today my mentor teacher told them they could choose their partners, and so RL walked straight over to KB. No questions or glances. He just walked straight over to her. And he walked pretty quickly, too. I think he was scared that someone else was going to snatch her up.

I think they're "going out".

I have another confession, but it doesn't have to do with being an education major.

I make up stories about strangers.

There is a man who is Coffee Station almost every single time I am there, and he always sits in the same chair and works on his Mac. Sometimes I wonder if he lives there. I pretend that he is writing a book. I imagine him to be a Donald Miller-sort, and in a year or so he will have published this amazing Blue-Like-Jazz-eque book that is finding its way into the hands of young adult Christian readers. Maybe the book will come out and I'll read it, without knowing who wrote it (I don't know this guy's name). At the front or back or somewhere, he will have written his book dedications/thanks and buried in the paragraph will be, "to Coffee Station, who let me sit in the same chair every day and write this book, and for their out-of-this-world espresso-based drinks". Maybe it won't say that; he doesn't seem like the sort of person to use a phrase like "out of this world". Still, I will read the book and think to myself, "So THAT'S what that guy was working on the entire time!" And I will probably get his autograph, now that he is famous. But maybe he won't hang out at Coffee Station anymore since he's a celebrity. I bet I won't see him again after he publishes his book.

Do you see what I mean? I make up stories. This is the first time I've ever published one, though.

Yesterday was mine and Austin's 8 month anniversary. Yay for us. Not that we celebrate our month anniversaries, but since we haven't hit the one year mark yet, it's all we have. Most of the time we just laugh and send a text or something saying, "Happy ___ month anniversary!" It's not a big deal. Let me tell you something, though... I am very blessed! He is so good to me, all the time. He has shown me what it really looks like to be a leader. He is also the most humble person I know. Which is funny, because he is also the most talented. But of course he think's I'm crazy when I say this. :)

So. In exactly seven weeks I'll be 22.

Good grief.

I really only know of one thing I want for my birthday. It's something I already have, but is broken: the little iPod player thing that folds up that I love. One of the speakers has blown and the other one sounds funny. Plus, I've had it for almost 2 years, and I bought it with my own money. It was a good use of $100.

Other than that, I don't need anything. Maybe a vacuum. But since I'll be moving home after that, I won't need one anymore. So that idea can go out the window.

I guess I could use some new running shoes. That's about it.

Welp, my throat now hurts for some unknown reason. I realllllllly hope I'm not getting another sinus infection. Because it sure feels like it. :-/
Oh my word. I'm listening to Pandora Radio right now and the most emo song ever is playing. It's such a break-up song. The singer guy keeps whining "It's not over, it's not over, it's not over..." over and over again. All emo songs sound the same to me. I swear, the lead singer is always the same. He's whiny, wears eyeliner and sounds helpless. Where did all the joy go? I have decided that you can't be an emo and be a Christian at the same time. God tells us to be joyful always, and to be emo you have to wallow in self-pity. It's completely focused on your emotions and yourself. God tells us to be selfless. The two are in opposition.

Well, I need to do homework. I'm gonna peace out.


Friday, April 04, 2008

Real Quick

I've been wanting to write all week, but I haven't had any time. I've had so many things on my mind but now that I sit down, they seem to be gone.

The weeks are flying by, and it seems strange to me that in three weeks I will be completely finished with school and classes. After that, it's student teaching and graduation in December. What am I going to do after graduation? I really have no idea. Am I supposed to move somewhere else? The future just seems so fuzzy and unknown. I would really like to know what's going on. Right now I am focusing on trusting God with where I am at this moment, and knowing that He knows where I will be in the future.

I have been really emotional lately, which isn't like me. Maybe I'm fiiiiiinaly becoming a girl. It's not like I cry all the time or for no reason, but things are affecting me more all of the sudden and I'll start tearing up. Nothing crazy, but crazier than normal. It's really weird. I don't know what to make of it.

At church we are going through a series on marriage, sex and dating. It's been really interesting and I find myself thinking about what our pastor says for the entire week. I mull it over in my head and wrestle with it. It's been so wonderful because God has been changing my heart in a lot of areas. I am always fascinated by how He does that. I can be so set in my opinion and mindset, and slowly, lovingly, God will soften my heart and open my eyes to the truth.

Well, I have to go have lunch with a friend now. I'm pumped.