Monday, November 26, 2007

Growing Up

So, I'm just going to say it: I really miss freshman year.

Last night, I went to Anna's house to plan the Christmas party. After planning, we went to Catherine's room because we wanted to watch a video we made in their dorm room freshman year. I think we made it right after decorating our rooms for Christmas. We recorded ourselves dancing around to a Britney Spears Christmas song. It's hilarious, and could probably be used as blackmail.

We got sad after watching the video because we remembered how much fun we had.

We were dorks, and didn't care.

We would say "Howdy!" to every stranger we would pass on campus. Actually, we would yell it. If they didn't respond, we'd inform them, "You have to say 'howdy!' back!"

We would break into the boys' dorm and blow air horns, then run out before the RAs could find us.

One day, we took the Number 01 bus to Sbisa because we didn't want to walk from South Side because we thought it was really far. It took about an hour.

We didn't have cars so one day, Catherine and I walked to Barnes & Noble from the dorm just to buy a book. I think it started raining on the way back.

I miss eating in Rumours for almost every meal, because it had the best food on campus. One time, it started pouring while we were eating, so Catherine and I made umbrellas out of the plate covers. They didn't really work.

We had a lot of fun.

I miss it.

On a different note, Thanksgiving was great. The food was amazing. I think it's my favorite kind of food in the world! The ham is actually my favorite part. I don't know where it's from, but it's amazing. I'm drooling right now.

I got to meet a lot of family members that I didn't even know existed.

I got to talk to my dad about money during the break too, which was really good. He is very good with money, and I found out that our family has been debt-free for the past 20 years. I think that is incredible! My mom doesn't work, and there are five of us girls. I think that's pretty amazing that my dad is able to do that. I have a lot of respect for him! I learned a lot about investing (that's the secret) and saving. We came up with a plan for me to save continually once I start working.

Slowly and surely, I am becoming an adult. It's really weird. I expected growing up to happen the day you graduate from college. One day, you're still a kid, the next, you're a grown-up and you do grown-up things.

That's not really how it happens, thankfully.

You learn a little each day.

One day, you learn how to go to the doctor's all on your own.

One day, you learn what to do if the air in your tires gets low (I probably learned this later than most).

One day, you learn to take care of yourself when you are sick, or to suck it up and get on with life instead of staying home and watching tv.

One day, you learn how to set up an account with the gas company.

One day, you learn that you aren't so young anymore.

It's a slow process, and it happens gradually.

Your friends start pairing off and getting engaged and getting married right in front of your eyes, faster than you would like.

They get that "Mrs." in front of a new last name. Soon, they'll start having babies. Their own families.

Then you have to start choosing whose family to spend the holidays with.

It's really weird.

One day, that will be me. I'll be a grown-up.

Until then, I continue to learn a little bit each day and allow God to slowly mold me into the woman He wants me to be. I'm okay with that.


Sunday, November 18, 2007

Fun Things Like Families

I've just been reading the blog of a family who is going to adopt a baby (or possibly two). They already have biological children, but they are considering adopting some more little kiddos. It makes tears form in my eyes just reading their story. I don't even know this family.

Who would have thought that in college I would be thinking about issues like adoption? Not me, that's for sure. In my mind, I thought adoption was only something you thought about if you couldn't have children yourself. I thought it came through trains of thought like this:

"Well, I can't have kids of my own... so I guess that means I'll adopt them. Sign me up."

I never thought about things that needed to be considered before adopting: Where would you get the money to adopt a child? It certainly isn't free. Is your house big enough for a child? Would your car be big enough? And what about the emotional side of it all? Plus, you still have to be picked for adoption.

I guess in my head I imagined it to be like a store. You go to the adoption center and pick out a kid, then you take it home with you and shower it in wonderful gifts and such.

Good grief.

I was just a little bit clueless.

Going to college has made me think a little more about adoption. I go to a church where a handful of families have adopted - I can think of five adopted kids off the top of my head. They are all just so precious. Seeing all these little bodies running around has made me think about adoption more. Something about it stirs my heart. I don't know if that's something God would ask me to do, but I'm definitely not opposed to it.

God is doing a lot to change my thinking on things. Especially regarding family issues. I am kind of a control freak, and I like to take things into my own hands. I am this way with a lot of stuff. I used to have my whole life planned out. Get married straight after college. Work full-time at some great job, have two or three well-behaved children somewhere in there, live an easy life, tell people about Jesus somewhere in there too, and then retire in a nice house in a nice, safe neighborhood. It's such an American idea of a "good life".

Now, my thinking is a little different. God has slowly begun to change my thinking. First of all, I am to serve and follow my husband wherever God calls him. It's not really for me to decide. Of course we will talk about things and pray about things, but ultimately, he has the last word. In a world where women are supposed to be mighty and powerful do-it-all superwomen, that's hard to think about.

And once you get married, your primary job as a wife is to not only serve your husband but raise and nurture your children. If your full-time job is getting in the way of this, then something's gotta go. There are priorities that aren't in the right place.

Another thing that has been going through my mind is family size. I am one of five, and I always told myself there is no way that I would have five kids. It's too crazy, too much work, too expensive. I mean, I want my kids to be able to wear designer clothing and have their own sets of toys, unlike me who wore some hand-me-downs and had to share. I want my kids to have the best of the best. I want to send them all to college without financial problems. I want to spoil them rotten. And I don't want to drive a minivan.

Well, not really.
But you know what I mean. I was just thinking about myself and my perfect American life.

I'll be honest, I still don't want to drive a minivan, but who cares? You gotta do what you gotta do.

I shouldn't put limits on what God wants to do. He may want me to have a big family one day. I just have to throw my hands up and say "ok, Lord!" and do it to the best of my ability, for His glory. There is a couple at my church who have seven kids under the age of 10. SEVEN KIDS! They are all so beautiful. And well-behaved. I have fun just looking at them all. Somehow, she gets them to sit down and eat their food all at the same time. They are some pretty cool kids, too. God has provided for that family in awesome ways! They have not had any problems financially caring for their children. God is so faithful!

I just love how God changes my heart and mind about things. I'm not close to getting married and I'm certainly not close to having children, but it's cool to me that God has placed these things to think about in my life.

Does anyone else have thoughts like these? I feel like I'm kind of weird for thinking about this. I have also been thinking about birth control, but that's a whole other thing to get into. Haha. Anyways, I just thought I'd throw those thoughts out there.

I hope everyone has been having a good weekend! I have had a lot of fun myself. I went to BQ Ball on Friday night and had a blast. Here are a few pictures from the dance:

B-Company '08 and dates

Me and Austin! I just wish we were looking at the same camera.

B-Co '08 all decked out

...and dates.

So that's about it. Until next time, cheerio.


Wednesday, November 14, 2007

La La La

I'm done for 11 days. Well, kinda. I still have projects to work on and such. But no more class until the 26th. I can't believe I actually get a Thanksgiving break this year!

I just looked through my closet and realized how much old stuff I have in there that I never wear. Particularly my skirts. In high school, I wore short skirts. I didn't think much of it because I went to an all-girls school and I didn't have to worry about boys. I put on some of my shorter skirts for fun tonight, and almost threw up. I can't believe I ever wore anything that short. And they weren't even slutty-short. In high school, my friends told me that I could "get away with it" because I was (and still am) short. I wish someone would have told me to stop buying stupid skirts. I am taking all my old clothes to Goodwill soon. They're taking up valuable closet space.

This Friday is BQ Ball. My first corps event to attend, really. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to wear my Ring Dance dress, although if anyone else is my size (0-2) and has some fun dresses, let me know. I'm going for classy and sophisticated, so if you have a fluffy prom-like dress, don't call me. I'm not really into all that frilly cupcake stuff. I actually really want to wear this other dress that I have. It's not formal, though, so I can't really do that. I've just never worn it before and it fits me really well. Also, I have no idea how to do my hair. Pooooo on having curly hair. Any ideas? I wish my hairdresser lived here. I don't really want to look like Goldilocks or Shirley Temple. I don't want a fro, either.

Have anyone else's allergies been really bad recently? I have been sneezing like crazy and my eyes are watering a lot.

Well, I'm bored. Haha. Until next time.


Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Awesome Things

About an hour ago or so I woke up from a nap. I had some crazy dreams, let me tell you. They contained dragons and some weird spell, and Austin was there with his truck. I think we were about to drive across the country with my grandpa. My mind is so strange.

Today I cooked lunch for Austin. It was so fun! I made homemade chicken pot pie and brownies for dessert. Well, I cheated with the brownies. That was all Betty Crocker. It was funny because Austin had never really made anything out of a box before, except for Ricearoni, so I taught him how. I pretended I was teaching a class of middle school students, but I don't think he really appreciated it. ;-) He also taught me that Folger's coffee is actually very good, and it costs about a million dollars less than regular coffee. I was very skeptical to try the Folger's, but Austin insisted that it was great. I bought some Pumpkin Spice coffee creamer to help me feel better about it, but I should have trusted him. Folger's is great, and the creamer made it that much better. (Austin begs to differ. He says it steals the coffee's soul.)

I made a 95 on my research paper. Sorry, I don't mean to brag, but I had never written one before, so I am dang proud of that.

I also made a 97 on my thematic lesson plan. It was the first lesson plan I'd ever written. I'm proud of that, too.

I hope you don't feel bad about yourself after I tell you that I get 11 days off for Thanksgiving. After Wednesday, it's no more school until November 26th for me! I don't have class on Thursdays and Fridays, and all my teachers canceled classes for next week... so... :-)

Tonight, I get to go to Breakaway for the first time in about 12 years. Well, maybe a few months would be a more accurate estimation, but it sure seems like 12 years. I'm so excited. It's outside at Olsen Field. Whoop.

So, I have been compliling a list of amazing things in my head. It contains things that I love, things that are just generally awesome, and that sort of thing. Here is my list (a few things, anyways):

1. Old Navy clothes. Where else can you buy shirts for like $5? I love their sales. I am going to buy the majority of my winter clothes from there, I think. I went there yesterday and bought a few items, but I will have to get Carolyn to inspect them for cool-ness. She is my fashion expert. I'm just so tiny that things have a tendancy to either swallow me or just hang in a really awkward way on my body. Another reason I love Old Navy - their jeans fit me.

2. Nail buffer blocks. They keep your nails looking great, like you just had a manicure (paint clear polish over them after using the block). They also help your nails to grow faster. I swear by them - that's what finally helped me to stop biting my nails.

3. Betty Crocker Chocolate Chunk Brownies. They are the best boxed brownies I've found.

4. Leaf blowers. I don't actually have one, but if I did, it would be on this list. I was sweeping my sidewalk today and thought about how awesome and fun a leaf blower would be. It's going on my Christmas wish list.

5. Brocato hair products. I swear by these. I use the Saturate shampoo and conditioner, as well as the Curlkarma curl energizer (don't make fun of me) and the Holdon hair gel. Vavoom! "Hold My Body" (yeah, I know) forming gel also works great. If you have curly hair, you should definitely try these.

6. Neutrogena Concentrated Hand Cream. I don't normally use hand cream, but in the winter my hands do tend to get dry. It's my favorite chapped hand remedy. I can't remember if they sell it in this country... I'm pretty sure they do. I discovered it in England, though.

7. Q-tips. They are indespensible.

8. Clinique Mascara and Cream Eyeliner. The mascara costs a few bucks more than the stuff you can buy at the grocery store, but it is so much better and lasts forever. It's a much better deal. I also love the Cream Eyeliner. It comes in a little pot and has a tiny brush to put it on. I love it. It has lasted me for almost a year now, and I am no where near close to using it all up.

9. Ross King's music. Amazing. I bought two CDs at the concert - I highly recommend his most recent album, "Perhaps I've Said Too Much." It's very thought-provoking. Austin and I are now huge fans.

10. Fazoli's small spaghetti with meat sauce. Dinner for $3.56. You can't go wrong. Plus they give you a ton of pasta. And free bread sticks.

Well, my sister is heading over now, so I should be on my way. We're getting dinner together.

Today has been a wonderful day. I hope you have all enjoyed it, too!


Sunday, November 11, 2007

New Life

Two of my friends got engaged today, and I was able to watch. It was so precious and I am so excited for them! Congratulations, Ryan and Erin!!!!

So the Ross King concert was fabulous. I loved being outside at night in downtown Bryan, with a bunch of people of ALL ages. We had old people. We had middle-aged people. We had families. We had college people. We had kids. We had newborns. It was a great concert. I loved it! I am listening to Ross's new CD right now, and it is awesome. So real and honest. And a little controversial. If you listen to it, you will know what I mean. One of my favorite songs on the CD is the song "Fool" - Ross wrote it for his wife, Staci. It is just beautiful.

Today, I saw people being real. I often wonder what a stranger would think if they walked in on our church on Sunday nights. If they would have walked in tonight, they would have seen honesty. They would have seen tears. They would have seen brokenness. We talked about 2 Corinthians 3:5-6:

Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

We talked about new life, and the way that as Christians, we are able to minister to each other and speak life and truth to each other. We talked about finding our sufficiency in Christ. After our pastor talked a little bit about this, he asked to hear from us. Many people stood up and shared what was going on in their lives. They were completely vulnerable and honest. We had people confessing that they didn't know where God was; that He seemed distant. Almost the entire church confessed that they were broken to some degree. We prayed for each other, one by one, and then Ross prayed over the entire body.

I love seeing the church be honest. Be real. Be open. If you can't be honest at church, then something is wrong. It seems that in so many churches, we feel like we have to put on our happy face on Sunday. We put on our best outfit, put on a smile, and pretend like everything is ok.

What is wrong with us?????????

It just makes me sad that there are so many broken people walking around in the church, and no one knows.

I could talk a lot about this, but I need to get ready for bed.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful week.


Friday, November 09, 2007

Wait, What?

A few minutes ago, I realized I had nothing to do. Well, nothing to do immediately.

I looked around me, and sat on my bed, tried to call my sister, and checked my email a couple of times before resorting to Facebook stalking.

It was weird.

I haven't had nothing to do for a while, so it's a relieving feeling. This week has been absolutely insane. I've thought about just bursting into tears and crying a couple of times, but I didn't have time for that. So I just kept on truckin'. I have been exhausted almost every day, weak and tired, but God has continually given me strength. He has never let me down.

Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.
Psalm 54:4

You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great.
Psalm 18:35

Isn't that beautiful?

I love the fact that God stoops down, to our level, in order to make us great.

I praise the Lord for rest and breath and peace. He is so faithful and gives me more than I ever deserve!

Tonight, I am going to a Ross King concert in downtown Bryan. It's absolutely free. I'm pretty excited, because I don't get out much. I went to see a movie last night for the first time since the summer. Ok, that's a lie, because I saw The Kingdom a few months ago. But still, I don't get out much. And Ross King is amazing. He is the worship pastor at my church, and he is very real and genuine.


I don't know what else to say.

I think I'll go watch The Office from last night again.


Sunday, November 04, 2007


Today I am singing songs of praise
for God's provision
His amazing grace
things to look forward to
and family members I haven't seen in four years.

Today I am thanking God for
blessings bigger than I deserve
the little things
that take away the busyness
and give me just enough extra time
to be peaceful
and rest
and know that He is God.

Today I am smiling because
I got eleven hugs this morning
and finished a big project
just in time
to see an amazing person
for a little bit

Today I am going to sleep
knowing that I am loved
a daughter of the King.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Get Your Feet Massaged

...That's what the "promise" on the wrapper of my Dove Promise said. I don't really understand how that is a promise, but it is a good idea. Foot massages are good. I think that Promises should have nice things that you are supposed to do for others inside. For example, instead of "Get your feet massaged" it should say, "Give someone a foot massage." It sounds better. I just opened another one, and it said, "Go to your special place." Hahaha... what does that mean...??? I think that Dove Promises are my new favorite candy. So if you want to give me something yummy to eat, you can give me a few of those. It's the American version of Galaxy chocolate. No, seriously, I think it's the same company. Check it out:

Speaking of candy, did everyone have a fun and safe halloween? I had a lot of fun! I went with Austin to take his Fish trick-or-treating in the dorms. They were crazy and people got a kick out of their costumes (which weren't all appropriate). My favorite were the Smurfs. They painted themselves light blue, held flowers, and sang a song if you told them to. Hilarious! After that, Austin and I studied for the rest of the night, giving out candy to anyone who came to my front door.

I went to HEB today because I had no bread, and my turkey was slimy. That's a different story alltogether. Anyways, I got SO EXCITED because guess what?! ALL THE CHRISTMAS STUFF WAS OUT!!!!! There's peppermint mocha coffee creamer, egg nogg, and all the other seasonal stuff that is great and fantastic. I got very giddy inside and smiled real big by the milk and yogurt section. I got home, and got even more excited, because my Creme Brulee coffee creamer was all gone, and this means I can buy something Christmasy the next time I go. Whoop.

Ok, this next subject is a little touchy, and maybe I shouldn't say anything. But I will anyways. Now maybe it's just me, but I think girls with hairy toes need to do something about it. Personally, I shave any hair off my toes that appears there, because I don't want to look like a Hobbit. Something about hair on girls' toes is just wrong. Maybe every other girl on this planet is ok with hair on their toes, but not me. It's just weird. There was a girl on the bus yesterday with really hairy toes, and it made me shudder. I wanted to go up to her, put my arm around her shoulder, and say, "Sweetie, the hair on your big toes is bothering me. Can you remove it for me? I'll even do it myself if I have to." On a side note, I just typed in "hairy toes" on Google images, and almost vomited due to the horrible pictures that came up. SICK. Anyways, if you're a girl, and you have hairy toes, I won't judge you for it. I may think it looks kinda weird, but you'll still be my friend. As long as you're ok with your hairy toes, then great. However, I'll continue to shave mine.

So it's 2:32 and I have not taken a shower yet. I probably should go do that. I hope everyone has a Terrific Thursday.