Saturday, April 26, 2008

Box of Memories

There's a huge plastic box that sits on a shelf up in my closet, and it is full of old memories. On Thursday, Ali encouraged me to go through it, and throw out things I didn't need anymore, as well as remember the things that were in there.

So tonight, I did.

There are so many things in that box that I had forgotten about. Looking through it brought back a flood of memories and made my chest hurt so much that it was hard to breathe. I would describe myself as fairly sentimental, and it was hard for me to realize that the memories represented by the items in the box were gone.

I found a Ziploc bag filled with almost every single airplane ticket I've ever used. There are so many stubs in there! Flipping through the tickets made my eyes well up because I realized that it's almost been two years since I've been to England. Before I know it, more time will have passed by since I've been back than the time I spent there. It will be a distant memory, the kind of thing you tell your kids about but vaguely remember. When living in England once used to be my entire life, eventually it will be "something I did when I was younger". I know I'll return one day, hopefully. But when will that be? After I'm married? And with the way gas prices are going now, when on earth will we ever be rich enough to afford a trip there? It makes me numb thinking about it.

I found many cards from the day that I got baptized. That was a special day: August 1st, 2004. About a week before I officially moved back to Texas for college. The letters were encouraging and refreshing to read. I miss that church.

I found a large number of ticket stubs from football and basketball games, movies, OPUS productions and other performances I've been to during college.

I found notes and letters that my old roommates wrote to me. They are so sweet and I miss living with them. I know I followed the Lord in moving into a different duplex, but I really do miss living with them. We had so much fun - playing "interview", yelling "drink, mommy farter" to the neighbors during their many keg parties, hanging out on the porch during the great College Station Blackout of 2006, complaining about our neighbor constantly calling to Serenity, her puppy, and dancing and singing during our annual "White Trash Christmas Party".

I found bingo stampers and a filled-in bingo page from the ONE time in college I went to play bingo. That was a fun night - the football game was postponed due to insane weather, so we went to Bryan and played bingo, then returned to watch the second half of the game.

I found my FLiC decal that I had been looking for for years. Maybe I'll put it on my car, but since my days of FLiC are over, maybe I won't. I miss FLiC. We had wonderful times.

I found a clear plastic container with one single chip inside from the summer of 2006 when Carolyn and I worked for Pepsico. I stole a chip from a batch that we made, stuffed it inside the container and saved it. I miss those days in a strange way. I still remember Hooman telling us to google his name, and then laughing hysterically. I miss psychoanalyzing the employees.

I found a giant button that we bought for Carolyn on her 18th birthday. It is actually a "Spin the Bottle" pin, and has things like "Kiss for 30 seconds", "Tickle your partner anywhere", "Sing a love song" and other scandalous things on it. We also bought Carolyn a strawberry flavored cigar, since she could legally smoke. We had no idea what to do with that thing.

I found a few notes and letters from my ex-boyfriend. This is what actually made Ali encourage me to go through my box. I had told her that I found some letters while looking for something in the box a few days ago, and she said I should probably throw them away. At first I felt mean or something, but then I realized that it was definitely the right thing to do. Would I want my future husband seeing those notes? No way. Would I want my kids finding those notes and asking me about him? The thought makes me want to gag! Holding on to stuff like that is just wrong!! Of course, I didn't realize that I had it, and I am definitely over that relationship in every way, but having those in my posession is not right. I even threw away cards that his parents have given me. It felt right because I know that my life from now on does not involve him in an intimate way at all. In my opinion, when you break up with someone for good, you should get rid of anything that still ties you to them in any sort of more-intimate-than-friendship way.

On a different note, last night I went to RV Ball with Austin. It was so much fun! The guys all wore their whites, and all the girls looked gorgeous in their ball gowns. Aggieland Orchestra played, and of course Austin sang during some songs. I felt like I lived back in the 1940s. I had always seen pictures of dances when the soldiers would come back and wear their uniforms, and all the girls looked pretty. They would dance to big band music and have a really fun time. I have always wanted to go to a dance like that, and last night I felt like my dreams came true! Even though the guys aren't actually soldiers (although many of them will be), it felt similar. Here are a few pictures.

Austin and I at dinner

Everyone dancing

Courtney and I having a great time

Austin and his partner Carolyn singing with the band

I had a wonderful night and it was so much fun. I'm sad because it was my last dance to go to in college. Who knows when my next formal function will be? I hope they happen after college, but I doubt that teachers have fun things like that to go to. I will find a way, though. Formals can't just be for high school and college kids!

Oh! I got my placement for student teaching yesterday! I will be at the middle school that I wanted, which is great! It's the closest one in Frisco to my house. It's like 12 miles away, which I guess isn't too bad. I will be teaching 7th grade science and I'm sooo excited. I have thoroughly enjoyed teaching 7th grade science this semester, so that's perfect for me. I have been praying for a good student teaching experience. I can't wait to meet my mentor teacher!

Well, it's getting later here and I need to get ready for bed. I hope that everyone is doing well. I love you.



Anonymous said...

Yay for going through your box! I'm glad it was a good experience over all. I remember how overwhelming my "going through" was. Loved the pics! You looked beautiful! And congrats on the student teaching placement! Yea for 7th graders!