Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Yeah, Something's Wrong Here...

I'm sure that many of my female readers (and perhaps some of my male readers) have seen the show on TLC called Jon and Kate Plus 8. It's pretty entertaining and can make you exhausted just by watching that family for half an hour. For those of you who have never seen the show, it is about a family with two sets of multiples: two 6-year-olds and six 2-year-olds. (Actually, I think the twins are 7 now and the sextuplets are 3.) They have five girls and three boys. Good grief.

I don't watch the show very much, but I catch it every now and then. The kids are adorable! Most people I know make fun of me, but I like to watch parenting shows such as Supernanny and watch the different techniques used to train the children. I just watched a 1-hour special tonight where the entire family went on a vacation to Disneyland. It was entertaining but I have trouble watching the show without getting frustrated.

When I watch shows where whole families are shown, I pay special attention to the parents. Have you ever seen Wife Swap? I cringe when I see the way that some of these women treat their "new husbands" and vice versa. It makes me sick to see the lack of respect shown and the women given complete control over the household.

On shows such as Wife Swap or Supernanny, the marriages are often the root of the problem. Of course, Supernanny wouldn't say that, but there is a strong correlation between the strength and quality of the marriage and the way the kids behave. You can look at almost any family and see that. I'm getting a little off-track here, but it is so clear to me that the marriage must be strong in order for the children to be disciplined the right way. A lot of times these children are being disciplined one way by their dad and a completely different way by their mom. Definitely not the way it should be!

Anyways, I was talking about Jon and Kate Plus 8. I often get frustrated when watching the show because I don't like the way that Kate treats her husband, Jon. She will boss him around, tell him what to do and I see her treating him like a child in some of the interviews. There is much disagreement between them and I see different parenting styles displayed. I see hurtful words thrown at each other and it makes me so sad. It is very clear that Kate runs the show in the house (it has even been said in interviews) and Jon is there to get yelled at and obey any requests that Kate has.

I'll tell you what, I don't see submission from Kate and I don't see Jon being the leader of the family. Watching a lot of these TV shows, you definitely see the woman being the leader a lot. Can you imagine what a wonderful witness it would be to be on TV and model a marriage that glorifies God and is aligned with the roles a husband and wife that Scripture gives? Well guess what?! You don't have to be on TV to do that! I know most of the people who read this aren't married, but some of us will be soon.

If you proclaim to be a Christian (and Jon and Kate do), you have the wonderfully difficult job of being a witness to the world. Marriage is supposed to be a beautiful symbol and picture of Christ's relationship with the Church, and we get to be a part of this picture when we are married! I'm so excited! It's a tough and humbling thing to do, but we are all called to show Christ's love in that way.

I really hate to see women wanting (and having) complete control over the family. I don't like seeing these women making all the rules and decisions and then ordering her husband around. Ladies, if any of you see me doing this when I am married, please hit me with a baseball bat! This was never God's intent for marriage. God calls men to be the leaders of the family, and the wife gets to stand beside him and love him and support him in his decisions (most of which are made with her help!). How fun!! Personally, I am very excited to have someone be decisive and make decisions. I am horrible when it comes to that. I know that a lot of girls think of submission as something negative, but it is supposed to be a beautiful thing when the husband and wife are both looking to the Lord for direction.

Girls: if you can't respect your boyfriend or fiance now, what makes you think that you'll be able to do that in marriage? You don't just change overnight. And your boyfriend/fiance doesn't just become an automatic leader after you say "I do". People don't change when you marry them! Problems and issues become magnified after marriage, not reduced! I believe it is so important to be thinking about these things before you date someone and especially before you marry someone.
Are they relying completely on Christ as the ultimate leader of the relationship?
Are they encouraging you to draw closer to God and rely on Him instead of your boyfriend? Most importantly - do they love God more than they love you?
I had so many problems in my last relationship because of these things. And things would have only gotten worse if we had continued in our relationship.

It's late and I sincerely hope that everything I wrote down agrees with what the Bible says about relationships. Please correct me if something is not quite right. My writing tends to be messy at night and I am a little scatterbrained right now. I didn't even mean to write all of that -it just started flowing. Anyways, it's time for me to sleep.



Anonymous said...

So crazy because I'm watching the Jon and Kate plus 8 marathon right now. It's my desire as a wife also to practice submission and it's so true that we have to be practicing that NOW. 8 kids is crazy. Have you seen them discipline them? I've never seen them spank them. How do you raise 8 kids and not spank?

Ashley said...

ahh that is so funny... i posted about jon and kate plus 8 a few weeks ago on my blog and i even used the same picture! i watched the disney world episode last night too... i don't know how they did that and kept their sanity in tact. i also cringe when kate starts talking down to jon and he mostly takes it. it's kind of sad. but i do have to give them credit for raising 8 children that are (mostly) the same age with some form of morals and responsibility.